All Hail The Dark-Skinned King

New Blog

2006-07-09T10:56:00.000+08:00

Eto na. Ang bago kong bahay. Ang bago kong palasyo. Bisita kayo!

The Dark Skinned King is Back!

My blog just turned against me.

2005-12-12T19:03:00.000+08:00

So 'eto muna. Buhay pa ako. I just need to make sure my blog's still alive.

A series of unfortunate events.

2005-11-19T17:44:00.000+08:00

A series of unfortunate events happened to me and the people around me so I haven't really had the strength nor the motivation to blog. My apologies to those who regularly anticipate my entries (magbuhat ba). I hope my explanation will suffice.

For the past few days following my three exams, I've shifted between feelings of forlornness and melancholy. At times I feel like I'm at a loss, like my spirit has detached itself from my body and went somewhere else. At other times I feel strangely aware of everything, but it's not even a blessing because the sadness just becomes more acute, becomes more in focus.

So what's pulling me apart? I don't really know. Maybe my not-so-fascinating actuarial exam? Maybe the seeming blandness of, and consequently, my disinterest in, my recent projects in the MAP? Maybe my neverending sickness? Maybe the travesty that is Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire? Maybe it's this season's Amazing Race: Family Edition? I don't really know.

Hay buhay. I wanna see my family again. I'm sure I just need a vacation.

I can't believe this.

2005-10-30T20:43:00.000+08:00

I feel like I'm in the Charmed episode where the Halliwells' house has turned against them. I can't even go back to my rented room because of the freaking darkness. It's almost as if a heavy invisible shield is preventing me from entering the house. It's fortunate that I go home late at night since the blackout came, or else the irritation this has caused would have been so much greater.

In other news, I'm finally done with my first run-through of the coverage for the actuarial exam! Yayness. I'm starting over, just to finally have a good grasp of the different formulas (meaning: memorize the formulas), and to acquaint myself with the different types of problems once again. After this more thorough second run-through, I'm going to answer the ACTEX multiple choice questions, then after that, I'm going to answer the past Course FM exams. I plan to accomplish all this by November 1, because it's not the only exam I'm going to take! I still have the LOMA exams to seriously consider. So: By November 2, I'm planning to study the new LOMA 280 book (for at least three days-- I'm being hopeful here), then browse through the LOMA 290 book afterwards (which I've already read some few weeks back). LOMA should be done and over with by November 6, because by November 7 and 8, we'll be taking the exams! And by November 9, I'm going to take the actuarial exam! It's going to be a hectic week of studying, but all in all, I feel good. Not because I'm confident that I'm going to have high marks (although I wish for this, too), but because this "mugging" (TM Joseph) is bringing back wonderful memories of college.

Life during the time of blackouts.

2005-10-28T21:41:00.000+08:00

Amidst the light lies darkness. Amidst the noise lies silence. Amidst the peace lies fear.

Nothing deep there, folks. I'm just talking about the unusual blackout in our house. Imagine this: among all the houses in our neighborhood, ours is the only one afflicted with the power shortage. Now that's not the only thing strange about it. Apparently, not every room in our house is in a state of darkness. The landlady's room and her apo's room are pretty much well-"electrocuted". I don't know how something like that could possibly happen, so it was fortunate that the house assistant approached me and informed me that a post or a fuse or a meter exploded... or something like that. I am not sure if I'm convinced. The reason for the power shortage is beside the point, anyway. It's just damn depressing. Not only does this effectively disable me from studying, but more important, it effectively prevents me from watching Pinoy Big Brother. That's really frustrating, I'm sure everyone will agree. Hee.

Anyway, since being in a room with one lit candle is not my idea of spending a fun night, I decided that it's time to haul my ass over to the most convenient Internet cafe and update my not-so-neglected blog. I don't really have a concrete blog entry in mind, so I'm just going to pollute this one with random thoughts.

Random Thought 1: I hate Unilever commercials. Do they really have to end ALL their commercials with "By Unilever"? I just used to be annoyed with it, but now it's torture. Add the glaring fact that Unilever seems to have cranked the commercial level up for these past few years, gaining a 99.99% share of all the ads being shown on TV, and you'll understand where my pain is coming from. It's appalling to hear me longingly wish for those days when P&G reigned supreme.

Random Thought 2: (related to RT1) I hate beauty commercials in general and shampoo and soap commercials in particular. That long, glisteningly strong, dandruff-free hair? FAKE. Those white and creamy thighs? FAKE. That face that can launch a thousand ships? FAKE. FAKEFAKEFAKE. Special mention must be given to Rejoice Long, not only for creating the most insipid product name, but also for releasing the most inane commercial shot yet: the half-whispered "Trainee din ako" combined with the soap operatic facing-the-camera-while-talking pose. Insane, just utterly insane.

Random Thought 3: I've forgotten how stressing examinations can be. Now I'm remembering the struggle of it all. The LOMA exams are nearing, and the actuarial exam is approaching nearer still. Gawd. All of "mah girls" are contributing their rightful share in multiplying THE FEAR (TM) in my system (as well as in their systems, come to think of it), so there's no lack of pressure there. Add into the mix my apparent handicap in finding the right equations of value, so it's going to be a happy, happy week ahead! Yebah! *faints*

Random Thought 4: Speaking of "mah girls," I'd like to personally thank three of them, Angela, Nes, and Shirlyn, for writing me a letter that started as a joke and became a heartfelt revelation of their deepmost emotions and feelings. The effort's quite touching, to say the least. But their reaction to my response was even more heartwrenching (in a good way). I think I've expressed my gratitude in my letter, but if it's not enough, here's another: You make my day everyday, but that day was special. Thanks. :)

Enough random thoughts. Randomness makes my head whirl. MUST. HAVE. ORDER. IN. LIFE.

Melancholic.

2005-10-23T10:59:00.000+08:00

I woke up at 8 AM today to continue studying for my actuarial exam. I cannot stand complete and utter silence while studying, so I turned my computer on to listen to some of my MP3's. You see, music helps me concentrate much better than silence can. Anyway, while solving a difficult theory of interest problem, my Winamp started playing Christmas songs. I felt very melancholic all of a sudden. What is it about Christmas songs that triggers this emotion? I guess I miss my family already, but I've been living out of the house for almost 5 years now. That's 5 Christmases, to those who really like to count. I should be accustomed to it by now, right? Apparently, that is not the case. Sigh. I wish that... never mind, I know that wish is coming true anyway. So I guess I'll just stop being melancholic and start becoming workaholic! Yebah!

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In other news, Chx got evicted last night. Sad. She was playing the game very well. I wanted Franzen to get evicted. But I knew that wouldn't happen. I just hope he loses out to Jayson in the long run. Go Jayson! :)

A day of reminder.

2005-10-21T17:30:00.000+08:00

This realization occurred to me last night as I was leaving McDo from hours of Philo studying: I love studying. Yes, I love it. Not in the general sense of studying which means "going to school and becoming a student in a specific course for 4 years" but the particular sense of it which means "going to a place in Katipunan and becoming a nerd in a specific subject for 4 hours." It grants me a sense of accomplishment that only a few activities I do ever can give me. There's this high I feel of knowing that I, though studying, have contributed to my welfare as a student. Of course, that's some pretty deep shit, but what I'm really saying is that I have, through studying, made efforts to increase my QPI, and thus my chances of landing a good job in a good company. But then again (forgive me for correcting myself so often), that's just the long-term part of it. At that moment of studying, that's not even what I'm thinking. That high seems to stem from the fact that I have accomplished something, that I have become productive just for once. I guess that's the real reason behind it.

I wrote this in my now-defunct blog way back last year, during the onslaught of the first sem exams. Those were fucked-up times to be sure, but I'm glad I found something to hold on to during those turbulent times. Studying, of all things. Of course, I've always loved studying, but it meant something more for me then. It meant investing my self in something else than my indescribably pathetic emotions. It meant finding an outlet to unleash every ounce of hate I have accumulated in my system. Simply put, it meant saving my sanity. Without the distraction of studying, I would have never survived the semester.

I vividly remember that which I was fervently studying for during the semestral break: the impending first actuarial exam. Amidst all the troubles that were brewing in my life, I still had to study for the most important exam I would have to take. It was difficult, no doubt about that, but I managed. I managed very well, no thanks to the asshole who made my life miserable as hell.

You might be wondering why I'm torturing myself with such bad recollections. Well, I'm not torturing myself-- I'm merely remembering memories of times past. Besides, I feel that things are coming full circle. Everything that has happened then is sort-of manifesting itself now... without, thankfully and blessedly, the presence of the great evil.

First, I just heard the stupid Jasmine Trias "Love Ko 'To" song again in McDo. That is one song I would have never wanted to hear ever again in my entire life, not only because Jasmine Trias's voice sucks, but because everything that I associate with that song is pure evil. Goosebumps ran up and down my arms upon hearing the insipid song. Thank God Mecki and I didn't stay for very long.

Second, Jamie's staying in Manila for the break. Jamie and Tsikee have been my soul-strength during those times, greatly contributing to how long I was able to take all the pain. Tomorrow, Jamie and I are meeting up again, coincidentally just around the same time last year when I was calling her on the phone and drowning her with my tears and sorrows.

Third, the second actuarial exam is just around the corner. This is perhaps the strongest and clearest manifestation of last year's events. In just two weeks, I will be sitting in a room in Ayala once again, solving my brains out. And to prepare for that, I'm studying once again, just like last year. However, unlike last year, I won't be doing it in McDonald's or in Seattle's Best Katipunan-- I'll be doing it in Starbucks in Rockwell. Unlike last year, I won't be doing it with the benefit of a semestral break-- I'll be doing it amidst stressful insurance work and a few mandated holidays. Unlike last year, I won't be doing it with the heavy burden of guilt and the annoying distractions of the great evil-- I'll be doing it with peace of mind and the wonderful blessings of the Supreme Being.

As I've mentioned earlier, everything that has happened then is sort-of happening now... not only without the presence of the great evil, though, but also with, thankfully and blessedly, the presence of the most wonderful good-- love.

More on those weird urges.

2005-10-15T09:19:00.000+08:00

I want an ear piercing. I don't know which ear, but I've been having this urge since last week. I'm trying to control myself right now, thinking that 1) my parents will probably laugh at me; 2) my friends will probably laugh at me; and 3) I haven't seen a "pierced" guy at work-- maybe it's against the Code of Conduct?

I don't what it is about these urges. The urge to drink hasn't even left me yet. If I'm not careful, I might be craving for a tattoo on my back one of these days.

[dramatic tone] What is happening to me?

Intoxicated.

2005-10-09T13:53:00.000+08:00

Intoxication, according to dictionary.com, has three meanings. These three are: 1) stupefaction or excitement caused by the action of a chemical substance; 2) exhilaration, excitement, or euphoria; 3) poisoning by a drug or toxic substance. I have just reasons to believe that I have experienced intoxication three times over this weekend.

Let's begin with the third and first definitions. Last Friday, Angela invited us to her pre-birthday celebration in Corik's. If my memory serves me right, it's the first time I've been in a bar like that. I've been to Zirkoh, yes, but that's a comedy bar-- I won't even comment on how different comedy bars are from "real" bars. Hee. It's just that I'm not the type of person who likes going out at nights, or likes going out at all; I'd rather stay in the house and watch TV all night long. In the same vein, I'm not the type of person who drinks too much alcohol even when the event provides the opportunity for it. The last time I've drunk far beyond my capacity was during the ORSEM party after the Freshman Dorm Orientation, and that was ages ago.

Well, I guess it's needless to say at this point that, during Angela's celebration, I drank once again.

The strangest thing about it, though, is the urge that accompanied the drinking. Not that kind of urge, you of filthy minds, but the urge to just keep on drinking bottle after bottle after bottle. I even managed to get comments like "Ang lakas palang uminom nito", which I personally do not receive, like, at all, ever. I don't know what triggered this urge, but perhaps the first and third definitions of "intoxication" can help me here: San Mig Light poisoned me, induced enough stupefaction and excitement in me to let go of all my inhibitions, pushed me to just go on and on and on. Thank goodness and I was able to go home before the alcohol truly struck me-- the consequences of that happening when so many people were around would have been quuuuiiiite revealing. Hee.

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I'd like to greet Angela a very happy birthday, and a lot of thanks for that wonderful celebration. I pinned faces on a lot of the popular names, and I finally understood a lot of things I only had vague impressions about.
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The second type of "intoxication" was caused by two things: the first was Racquel's eviction from the Pinoy Big Brother house, and the second was the accomplishment of finishing all my LOMA readings.

Let's begin with the first cause. Racquel, after three consecutive nominations, finally met her match-- Cassandra Ponti, a kababayan of mine from Davao(Inangkin ba? Hee.). With a difference of only 14 percentage points between them, Racquel was finally evicted from the house. I became instantly intoxicated by this piece of news. Racquel has been pestering me with her inanity and insanity in the PBB house, and it was about time she left. She's not as bad as JB (who, by the way, received a tongue-slap from Cass's mother last night), but she can still be pretty annoying. I guess Racquel's disappearance is only unfortunate in that, unlike Rico, JB and Jenny, she won't be appearing in our TV screens for very long.

The second cause of my intoxication, that of finishing my LOMA readings, is a huge source of exhilaration, euphoria, and excitement for me. I can now finally study for my actuarial exam. It's going to be a long journey from now until November 9th, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I'm praying for two things: 1) that I'll be able to finish studying for my actuarial exam come November 9, and 2) that I won't be able to forget the things I studied for LOMA come November 7 and 8. Pray for me, too, you guys, I need it.

So much for being intoxicated now! Time to log out of this internet cafe, go back to the house, reach for my BA-II Plus Texas Instruments calculator, and start solving! Yebah! :)

Mixed Messenger.

2005-10-06T20:02:00.000+08:00

The results from Nes's and Shirlyn's 32-Point Dating Exam are out. I am a Mixed Messenger (Deliberate Brutal Love Dreamer). What's that? Read on. You might be surprised.

Just...take...the...fucking...flower...darling. The Mixed Messenger apologizes again.

You're looking for love, but you'll always maintain your independence. You're prepared for a real commitment, but it's also likely that you're ambitious, which creates a certain romantic tension and ambivalence within you. So although you can be very affectionate to someone, you are also capable of pulling some dubious shit.

In a relationship, you're usually the emotional leader. With your friends, you're a little bit more part of the pack. You're well-liked but you're not the uninhibited type, so the spotlight's often on someone else. In both social and romantic situations, however, you almost always get what you want. Influencing people is something you do very well.

Hey, whatdyaknow? It's the first time I've posted a picture, and the first time I've posted a quiz (which, personally, I'm against)! Guess the times are changing...

Hey, a guy's gotta have his good days, right?

2005-10-04T18:52:00.000+08:00

I haven't felt both productive and un-stressed at the same time for the longest time. For me, it's a comforting combination I've come to accept as a thing of the college-past, an occurrence that I can only longingly hope for with dreamy eyes. But whatdyaknow? I'm actually experiencing said comforting combination right now! As the title of my entry explicitly states, a guy's gotta have his good days, and apparently, this week's mine. At long freeeeeking last!

I'm still trying to figure why everything's so positive right now. Is it because I now have a partner in my departmental project (thanks Dione!)? Is it because of the project itself? Or is it because I've come to enjoy the e-mailing-people part of the project immensely?

Or could it be because I've already studied 4 chapters of LOMA 290? Or is it because I've already received the study materials for my actuarial exam (thanks Jose!)?

Or is it because of the very good times I've spent with my officemates (thanks Winning Team!)? Could it be because of our delightfully funny conversations? Or could it be because of the hilarity that is The Makeover?

Or could it be because I've spent PhP1,500 worth of groceries yesterday? Or because I've had my haircut, as well? Or is it because I just recently received my salary?

Or could it be because I've taken up the vow of going to Mass every Sunday and actually doing it (thank you God!)?

Or could it be because of everything that I have mentioned above?

Whatever the reasons, I can only remain thankful for them. At long last, a reprieve.

Now THIS is entertainment!

2005-10-02T13:08:00.000+08:00

Okay, now that I've vented that poison out, I can focus on the more entertaining things in life.

The Amazing Race: Family Edition. Joseph was right: The Amazing Race did lift my spirits last week. The moment I heard the theme from the show, tingles ran up and down my spine and goosebumps appeared on my forearms. However, it did not lift my spirits as much as I expected it to. Even though the Amazing Race remains, and will always remain, my favorite reality show of all time, I feel that the producers have bastardized the show enough. The Family Edition is a bastardization, don't think that there's any doubt in my mind about that. Instead of 11 teams of 2, they now have 10 teams of 4-- and apparently, instead of a race-around-the-world, it's a race-around-America. It was quite disappointing, to say the least, to expect the first clue to send them to South Africa or Chile or even freaking Canada, and see them sent to Pennsylvania, instead. Those precocious kids must have something to do with this.

Upon much retrospect, though, I decided that I still like the show despite it not reaching my level of expectation. It remains, as I've said earlier, The Amazing Race, and nothing can be more amazing. It's a show that's still going to render me immobile for an hour every Wednesday for 13 Wednesdays. That's good enough for me.

Pinoy Big Brother. Ehem. Here's another show that has rendered me immobile for an hour everyday for almost a month now. Can I just say that it's really addicting? As I've mentioned in the right side of my blog, it's a show that resurrected my faith in ABS-CBN. With GMA spewing quality shows like Encatadia, it was difficult to remain purely a Kapamilya. Thank goodness ABS-CBN franchised this show from Endemol. I have never been more of a Kapamilya than I am now.

What can I say about the HMs (housemates, to those not in the loop)? First of all, I'm glad JB was evicted-- over him and Racquel, I'd pick Teacher Racquel anytime. Not only is he truly disgusting, but his love story with Say is just puke-inducing, and the fact that Big Brother gave them 100 seconds to see each other was just FOUL. It may be technically allowable, but the producers were treading on a thin line right there. Stop it, please, let the love story end. I can't wait for Say to be evicted so that she and her Jimboy can spend time making babies outside my PBB time. I'm more interested in other things, thank you very much.

Not that I like Ate Racquel that much, either. In fact, I only rooted (rooted, not voted) for her when she was pitted against JB because, between the two, she was the lesser evil. Now that she's pitted against Cass, there's no contest for me. I'm voting (in fact, I have been voting) for Cass all the way. I don't like Racquel at all. She's not gracious in the face of victory, she's not real, and she's just not entertaining. I find Cass to be entertaining and genuine. She may be loud, but she speaks her mind. I like her.

There's one more HM I'd like to talk about before moving on: Franzen. I don't like him. Most Filipinos voted for him based on his financial needs, and that is precisely the reason why I don't like him. I don't like to vote for anyone based on their financial need. It's going to be a charity show in this case. They might as well hand the prize to Franzen. If ever he advertises this need shamelessly in the future, I'm going to buy all the Datu Puti I can get just to vote for whoever remains with him in the final showdown. (Yes, there is no doubt whatsoever that he's going to be in the final showdown.)

My final five, based on what I've seen so far (in no particular order, of course):

1. Uma
2. Sam
3. Cass
4. Nene
5. Jayson

Hmmm, come to think of it, I've decided that I like Jayson to win everything. Go Jayson!

Now that's NOT entertainment!

2005-10-02T12:43:00.000+08:00

The serious stuff. You know how some people say that politics is just like showbiz, albeit more entertaining? I agreed with that statement for the longest time, but I've stopped believing in it for weeks now. The political situation in the Philippines is no longer funny. The politicians are still making asses of themselves in front of the public, that's for sure, but this time, they are treading on potentially (does the term "potentially" even apply now?) dangerous grounds. Especially she who is the most prolific ass of all, GMA. How desperate can you get? Calibrated preemptive response? WHAT? I'm no law student, but it's basic-- I learned about the constitutional right to form rallies way back in grade school. Come to think of it, this move reminds me of the "preemptive strike" idea forwarded by Australia's Prime Minister, John Howard, an idea which US and Britain wholeheartedly embraced. If you may recall, that move allowed certain countries to strike another country if they felt that the country in question had something sinister up its sleeves. If you also may recall, that move was disgustingly put down by a lot of countries which had a lot more sense in their minds. In the same vein, this move to be stricter in allowing people to hold rallies is not only stupid but scary, as well. In her desperation, GMA has become dangerous. What is to be done now? We have the "Hello Garci," the Venable deal, the resolution disallowing government officials to be questioned in Congress without her permission, and now the calibrated preemptive response to think about. What are we to do? Will we continue to let GMA run mad with her dangerous propositions? Or will we put a stop to this never-ending political misery?

As you think about these things, read Jel's take on the matter.

I should be ecstatic but...

2005-09-25T08:30:00.000+08:00

...I'm not.

Sales presentation went very well yesterday. VERY, VERY WELL. I couldn't emphasize it quite strongly enough. Even though I personally felt that my project didn't quite live up to my own expectations (yeah, perfectionist), it seemed to match the sales executives', so I guess there's no "negative mismatch" there. But really, I'm glad they liked it. The sleepless Wednesday and the stressful Thursday and the crazy Friday were all worth it, I guess.

But why don't I feel ecstatic? Why don't I feel relaxed? Why don't I feel the urge to grab my LOMA books and actuarial notes to prepare for my 3 exams this November?

I hate this feeling. I haven't experienced it since November of last year, and that time definitely sucked. If ever something does come out of this, I'm sure it will be something bad, and something catastrophic. Please God, let it not be so.

Let it not be so.

Busy as a monkey.

2005-09-18T10:13:00.000+08:00

I don't know where that expression came from, but its origin is beside the point. The point is, I'm really busy, cramming my Sales project and all. Surprisingly, there's nothing to worry about. I'm feeling the urgency, which is quite normal. I'm also feeling the pressure, which is also quite normal. What I'm not feeling are the hysterics and drama which come with the abovementioned two (remember actuarial?). This, needless to say, is not quite normal. But it's a good and welcome abnormality. Perhaps, this time around, I'm going to remain sane during crunch time.

Come to think of it, perhaps it's because of Papa. He finally-- finally!-- relented to my sad-boy-voice and promised me that he'll find some sources for the much-needed cash I need for my actuarial exam. That must have been the reason, yes. Well, here's a little message for my dear father: Pa, thank you very much. I know you wouldn't let me down, and you didn't! And for all the goodness and thoughtfulness in your heart, you deserve a very, very happy birthday today! Wee! 47 ka na Pa! Tanda!

That's it for now, guys. It's crunch time right here at Kerwinville (hwaaaatttt???), and I have no time to blog at all. But I just have. Hmmm... never mind. Byers!

Seeing the problem.

2005-09-09T19:53:00.000+08:00

I've been feeling beat, sad, and lazy these past few days. At first, I didn't try to discover why I felt this. I simply accepted these emotions as they came. I figured that perhaps things just came together simultaneously at the wrong time. I couldn't handle all my little worries and all my little problems, I thought, which probably burdened me and consequently caused me to feel this way.

A reality check was necessary as soon as I realized that time was ticking out on me and my Sales project. Diana made it clear to me yesterday that my project was not at all as simple as it seemed. And here I was, slacking, feeling lazy, and feeling too tired to focus on my work. It hit me right there and then: I needed to know what's wrong with me before time ran out. I needed to know what's causing all this negativity before it affected my performance in Sales.

The answer surfaced after a little soul-searching. It's all because of that actuarial exam. I've been worrying about it since the impending deadline occurred to me. It's the bottomline reason. It's the primary cause. It's the source of all my little problems.

It all began when I realized that the deadline for the exam was nearing. At first, I was hesitant to ask permission from my bosses, thinking that I would be questioned for such a decision (there is a rational basis for this reticence). It took me around a week before I finally found the courage to ask if they were willing to let me take the exam. The result was good. It was in the affirmative. Yayness, right? Yep, during that time I felt so good it would be impossible to match the length of my smile. A few seconds after, however, my smile vanished a little bit. A few minutes after that, it vanished a little bit more. A few days after that, I couldn't think of the actuarial exam without my forehead wrinkling and my mouth putting on a serious pout.

It was a financial thing. I realized that I couldn't afford the actuarial exam. I was half-expecting my bosses to subsidize it for me, but that did not happen. I thought it was A-OK then. It's not part of the training budget, after all. I'm supposed to take the exam when I'm in the Actuarial Department, after all. But that was then. Now, I feel like I've rushed into my decision to take the exam. 6,000 bucks is serious money. What was I thinking?

I could just let it go, of course, and focus on other things now. But the problem is, I really want to take that exam. Waiting for another year to take the exam would be too much of a lost opportunity for me. It really saddens me to even think of that possibility. Sigh... I wish something good would come in the next few days. Like Papa relenting to my sad-boy-voice and lending me money for the exam; like me finding out what statistical formulas to use in my Sales project; or like Jel bringing home some Jollibee spaghetti, Swirly Bitz, or that new Cheezy Fries they now have out in the market.

I'm sad, people. Hug me.

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In way brighter, happier, and more joyous news, I'd like to greet one of the two most favorite brothers I have in the world, Kenneth, a very, very happy 14th birthday! Weeeeeeee!!! Congratulations, too, for being in the Top 2 of your class! Imagine, he just recently transferred to Ateneo in his 3rd year, a newbie in every way, but he still managed to snatch the 2nd spot after a few quarters! Not bad, huh?

I'd also like to greet Jacques, one of my close friends, a very memorable and happy birthday! You deserve to be happy, Jacques, not only on your birthday, but on every day of your existence here in this world! I hope everything turns out good in your life. Don't give up, OK? :)

Off.

2005-09-04T16:16:00.000+08:00

I shouldn't be watching these types of movies again, these movies which make me feel that there's something off-- something inadequate-- about the way my life is currently going. I try to remind myself that I am perfectly content. Of course, there are still many things which I crave for, things such as a telephone line or an Internet connection, for instance, but on a deeper level, on a more profound level, I am content. There is nothing more I can ask for. But then this movie comes along and tells me-- albeit implicitly-- that there is something wrong here. Something is not right about this picture. I do not like to be reminded about this. I do not like to be told that something's amiss. It just... it just makes me feel sad.

Dammit, this is really affecting me now. I never thought it would affect me this way.

I bought a television on "almost-impulse."

2005-09-02T18:14:00.000+08:00

Jel and I bought a TV last night on "almost-impulse." I just texted him around 6, saying: "Gusto mo bang bumili na ng TV ngayon? If yes, get money in the drawer and meet me at Powerbooks. If no, then just text me so I can go home." He got the money and went. As you can see, it's almost-impulse because we already had the plan to buy a television; that was pre-conceived. What was impulsive was the text message and the manner by which it was sent. I just happened to be near the vicinity of SM, decided to drop by to check on prices, and then the impulse to buy seized me. The rest is history.

Well, not quite. There's something a little bit more to it. It's just funny that Jel arrived at around 8, which meant that we only had an hour or so to choose the TV before SM closed. I realized (and Jel realized this, as well), that if the store closed on us and we didn't get to buy a TV, our impulse to buy it would be gone. Everything would then be planned, and would be pre-conceived. This would give us time to think. During this time, I would think of the great deal of sacrifice in spending that I would have to do, and Jel would think of other things besides, and these will make us feel guilty of buying, frankly, a not-so-cheap appliance. So it was a now-or-never moment for us. We chose now. We scrambled through flat-screens and warranties, through sweet-talking Hyundai guys and nice Canon guys, through warranty extensions and price comparisons all for a little less than an hour. We made our decision just in time, though, and we went home with our brand-new 21" Sanyo TV.

Okay. This time, the rest, whatever the rest may be, is history.

Libre sa MRT.

2005-09-02T18:06:00.000+08:00

One of the many things I missed during those times when I changed my morning travel route to save on cash was the possibility of getting my copy of the day's Libre. Libre, as any commuter will know, is Inquirer's free tabloid-like publication, available in almost every MRT and LRT station here in Metro Manila. Unfortunately, since my travel route during those dreary, cashless times involved only one LRT ride, my chances of getting Libre-- which was slim to begin with-- grew even slimmer; in fact, I don't recall a 1-ride-day that I happened to chance upon a copy. Hay... such sad and cruel fate.

What's fascinating about Libre is that it is a brilliantly tactless publication. It can be so upfront about what it writes that sometimes even I get shocked by what I read. Consider, for instance, this health advertisement written blatantly on the first page of a day's Libre:

Question: Lalabasan pa ba ako at mananatiling malakas 'pag nagpa-vasectomy?
Answer: Oo, lalabasan ka pa kahit nagpa-vasectomy ka.

Just imagine me trying to stifle my laughter while inside the LRT. Christ, I don't think I would find that kind of thing anywhere else! And it becomes even funnier because it's written in Tagalog, a language that makes it seem funnier, even though it's really a very serious thing. Remember kiddies, vasectomy is never, never a laughing matter. Hee.

The fun does not stop there. I also enjoy Nap Gutierrez's columns immensely. It's twice the fun because he has two of them. Yes, two. In one publication. Cost-cutting, perhaps? Anyway, Nap's first column, catering to those interested in the goings-on in showbiz, is titled "Freebiz." His second column, on the other hand, catering to those interested in the goings-on in sports, is titled "sNAPshots." Don't be deceived by this differentiation. Because even though Nap writes in two different columns, the content remains the same: "Who's really gay?"

At first glance, it may appear that Libre is just like any other tabloid existing in the world today. There's the shocking ad, there's the "knowledgeable" "journalist," and there's the daily horoscope. Remember, though, that I described Libre as a "brilliantly tactless" publication, not merely a "tactless" one. This is where its brilliance comes in.

Libre is not a tabloid. It's tabloid-like, yes, but it's not a tabloid. Libre, no matter how tactless it may be, is still an affiliate of Inquirer. Its contents still have the same degree of believability and integrity that we have come to expect of anything that's written inside Inquirer. It may be written in a way that is amusing, or published in a way that makes the news more understandable to the masses, but that's just the marketing. The core of it still rings true. The core of it still tells the truth as it is.

Okay, that's enough. Inquirer should be paying me for this. Hee.

Manong George.

2005-08-30T22:13:00.000+08:00

Before I became a resident of the boarding house where I am staying now, I was first a visitor. Every once in a while, I dropped by to chat with Jel (who, then, was already residing in the house) or, when life in the college dorm became too much to bear, I dropped by the boarding house to stay there overnight. It was during these visits and overnights that I met Manong George.

I immediately liked Manong George the first time Jel introduced me to him. It was a meeting with a purpose, if I recall correctly. I was looking forward to watching The Amazing Race that night, but since I felt so tired to go back to the dorm, I asked Jel if there was someplace that I could watch the most wonderful reality TV show of all time [sorry, plugging, hee]. Jel told me that he'd ask permission from Manong George, who, as I soon found out, was his next-room neighbor. Manong George easily replied with a "Yes," which was, perhaps, one of the reasons why I immediately liked him.

Upon seeing him in person, though, the reasons multiplied. Manong George was a big guy with an even bigger heart. He spoke like a flower; he walked like a bear. He always seemed at ease with himself. He always seemed content. In fact, there was never a time while I was there that he was upset at anything. I always encountered him with that strange smile of his on his lips.

Manong George was also a fastidiously clean and organized man. His room (which I envy and miss up to this day) showed it. The room, I must tell you guys, did not allow much improvement. But Manong George turned a seemingly hopeless room into a bachelor's pad that matched even the most expensive ones in the nearby Rockwell Tower. It even had a motif: pastel and metal. The combination might sound weird, but aesthetically, it worked. The floor was covered with blue linoleum; on top of that, an expensive-looking gray rug was placed. He had an orange lounge chair facing the TV. The TV itself had a metallic luster to it, as well as the rack on which the TV stood on. His bed, which was always made up, was blue. Pastel to metallic, then back to pastel again. Wonderfulness.

He seemed exactly the type of person I would have no problems being friends with. And indeed, there were no such problems. Even though I didn't live (yet) in the boarding house, he treated me as though I was. It was then unfortunate that when I finally moved in the house, Manong George already left for Cagayan de Oro, the place where San Miguel Corp. transferred him.

But this isn't going to be a sad entry. I thought of Manong George because he texted Jel last week and informed him that there was a possibility that he was going to be transferred back in Manila. Yay! That news filled me with simple joy. And the joy expanded even further when he told us that we're invited in his place overnight and that he would treat us for dinner! More yayness!

It's nice knowing people who are genuinely nice. All this while I had this fear that my "niceness" or, putting it in another light, my "lack of aggressiveness," is going to be the cause of my failure in the workplace. Even though I didn't voice it out or realized it explicitly, "Play fair; be nice" has been my motto for years. But Manong George, who is one of the nicest successful people I know, assuaged that fear. It's okay to be nice. It's okay not to be aggressive. What matters is that you do your best without trying to be nasty to other people in any way. It works. It really works.

Thanks, Manong George.

The joys of travelling by jeep.

2005-08-23T19:13:00.000+08:00

In order to stretch the money lent to me by Jel, I've decided to change my morning travel rituals altogether. Before, I used to take this route:

Jeep to MRT station - PhP7.50
MRT station to LRT station - PhP11.00 (either stored value or single trip)
LRT station to UN Avenue - PhP13.00 (if stored value) or PhP15.00 (if single trip)

Travel Time: 45 minutes, more or less
Total (back and forth): PhP63.00 to PhP67.00

Then in going back home, more of the same. The stored value tickets cost PhP100.00 each; technically, therefore, I only pay a lump sum of PhP100.00 once for each train and get my rides "free" after I pay the lump sum. Doing this saves me PhP2.00 per LRT train ride and even more important, saves me the grief of lining up to buy tickets, especially during rush hour.

Now, I take this route:

Jeep to Pedro Gil - PhP10.00
LRT station to UN Avenue - PhP12.00 (either stored value or single trip)

Travel Time: 40 minutes to 1 hour and 20 minutes, depending on the traffic
Total (back and forth): PhP53.50 to PhP55.50

In going back home, I use my old route. As you can see, it's definitely cheaper to use my new route. However, the inconvenience of buying MRT tickets during the afternoon (as I cannot afford to buy an MRT stored value ticket) and the inconvenience of walking from Pedro Gil to the LRT station take away most of the convenience of using the new route. Unfortunately, convenience is not a priority given my situation right now; cheapness is. So there. I just have to suck it up, I guess.

Being broke sucks.

Broke and independent.

2005-08-21T12:30:00.000+08:00

I'm broke. My salary's gone kaput. At first, it seemed inevitable that I will have to survive on 3 canned goods (2 corned beef and 1 can of sardines) and a box of SkyFlakes crackers for the next 9 days. Thank God I have an understanding roommate who lent me some cash to use for the time being.

So what happened to my salary? According to my Salary Expenses Excel file [how geekoid, hee], I've overspent on internet. The budget I allotted for internet is, well, ZERO, but I spent almost 1,500 pesos on it. And the month isn't over yet! And I'm in an internet cafe right now blogging! Sheesh. When will I ever learn.

Aside from my inability to refrain from surfing the Net, and aside from inability to patronize cheap but cramped 20-peso internet cafes with no XP OS's and no 1028x768 resolutions, I blame PLDT for the financial disaster I'm currently experiencing. Despite our persistent calls asking them to connect a phone line in our room so that we may be able to access their PLDT Vibe 440 promo (that's over 1,000 pesos in savings, come to think of it), they just wouldn't do it for the simple reason that our landlady failed to pay a huge amount of telephone bills at a distant time in the past-- perhaps way back when dinosaurs roamed the earth and spore-producing plants dominated the land.

"The house is blacklisted," so they say.

"But the room isn't blacklisted," so we say.

"We can't be assured that you won't leave the boarding house and leave the bills with your landlady, who, of course, wouldn't pay your bills." Good point, but not that good.

"Then pray tell, Mr. PLDT Man, why do our next-room neighbors have an authentic PLDT line connected in their room?"

"Nakalusot lang po siguro sila."

What the *^%&!?!? Damn you, PLDT.

I've already called Globelines, but there is a strong possibility that there aren't any Globelines connections here in our street. That leaves us with BayanTel. BayanTel is my only hope of preventing another 1,500-peso financial loss next month. I can't afford a loss, especially next month. Jel and I are planning to buy a small TV to accommodate me during my lonely, lonely weekend nights. So a loss is out of the picture.

That reminds me, I should be heading home right now. I've spent-- what? an hour? an hour and a half?-- in this cramped, 20-peso-an-hour, non-airconditioned internet cafe already. At least it has an XP OS and a 1028x768 resolution.

Or will he have... a change of heart?

2005-08-20T14:42:00.000+08:00

Do you know that show in the ETC channel? The one where couples at the crossroads of their relationship date other people to see if they're compatible with them? Yes, that stupid show hosted by Chris Jagger and goes by the name of "Change of Heart"? I may be having precisely that: a change of heart.

First of all, this is no romantic matter. I'd like to make that clear at the onset to prevent any misunderstandings. But even though it's career-oriented (gasp) rather than love-oriented, it doesn't make thinking about it any easier.

I've written a little bit about sales work in my entry yesterday. I've written about the loneliness that threatened to make sales a less enjoyable experience, and I've written about the enlightenment of stomach and mind that exorcised that threat. What I failed to write about was while all these were happening, an idea was slowly forming inside my fickle head. "What if I went into sales?"

Two things prompted that disturbing little idea to surface in my head. One: I thoroughly enjoyed the time I spent with my bosses. While driving to Caloocan and waiting for the agents to arrive, we had conversations which I found to be delightful. I don't know what made these conversations delightful; perhaps I connected with them on a more personal level than I would have otherwise allowed myself to expect.

Two: I found sales work the most engaging and the most personal of all the work I've encountered so far. The documents I typed, the statistics I computed, the papers I studied-- all these had direct effects on actual people. People whose careers and lives depended on what the documents, statistics, and papers had to say. Agents. Agents with children to feed. Agents with children to educate.

Of course, it's too early to tell. This may just be a simple case of temporary sympathy that will fade as soon as I finish with sales. Nonetheless, a great foundation has been shaken. I've always thought that both my heart and mind leaned towards an actuarial career, after all. At this point, my mind will just have to wrestle with this possibility: if I continue to enjoy the company of my superiors and the work of an AC, my mind may remain with actuarial, but my heart will belong with sales.

That's going to be a some dilemma, all right.

That's going to be some change of heart.

A little re-introduction.

2005-08-19T20:10:00.000+08:00

Hi, I am Kerwin Ray Escape Sentillas. I'm sure you've known a little bit of me through my posts and through the tidbits I write on the right side of my blog, but I think a little re-introduction will be good at this time. I've gone out of circulation for so long that I myself have forgotten the face of my blog. I realize that this 'refreshing' of sorts is more for myself than for anyone else, to reacquaint myself with the joys of blogging, but I thank those who appreciate the make-over effort. You guys bring sunshine into my life. Wee!

I just turned 21 a few days back. I'd like to thank everyone who greeted me during that time; as everyone may know, 21 is a guy's debut, and is therefore very special. Anyone who contributed into my happiness that day by acknowledging the importance of my birthday by texting or calling or talking to me will be hereby rewarded good karma for the rest of August. Special thanks to Jel for waking me up at midnight to remind me that I'm 21. More special thanks to him for buying ice cream and donuts for the celebration. Good karma all around.

I held no party during that day, although my fellow MA's suggested a topless party or a bikini party, albeit jokingly. Jokingly, I said, so no, the topless/bikini party did not happen. What did happen is a movie celebration (Bewitched) and a luncheon at Chef d' Angelo's with the very lovely Tsikee Lu (Tsik Tsik Tsik Tsik), who I missed very much. What did happen is a dinner at Pizza Hut with a few of my blockmates, who I also missed hanging out with. As you can see, my 21st birthday is pleasant all around.

The days leading to my birthday were not so pleasant, however. More specifically, the last week leading to my birthday. During that time, I was with the Actuarial Department of PhilamLife, doing a comprehensive study. During that time, I was depressed. During that time, I cried hard every morning before going to work.

Looking back, I realize that perhaps I was too hard on myself. I felt the urge to exert more effort into the project because I was afraid that Actuarial wouldn't hire me unless I do very well. I felt myself sinking into desperation as each day passed, getting more and more nervous as the dry run and actual presentation dates approached, seeing that I wasn't done with my project just as yet. If not for Jel, who comforted me the best way he can, and Sam, who listened to me while I talked about my apprehensions, and the MA's, who unknowingly made me happy in their own little ways, I would have become catatonic by now. Perhaps it is needless to say that everything went well after that, and, yes, the Actuarial Department decided they would hire me. The issue now is whether they could hire me during the crucial time, but that's another story to be told another time.

Now, I'm in the Sales Department. At first, loneliness began to set in, primarily because all the MA's were scattered to different sectors of Metro Manila, and I was the only one who was assigned to the West Sector in UN. Not seeing those girls had its depressing effect. Fortunately, my bosses gave me interesting work to do, and there were so many places to go, so these kept my mind off the loneliness. Today, for instance, the whole West Sector Sales Management Team (as this is what our team is called), went to an Eat-All-You-Can Cabalen merienda treat for productive agents. It was both filling and enlightening. Filling, because the food was simply sumptuous. Enlightening, because I finally understood the plight of agents. Seeing them in a personal way made me realize that being an agent is not easy. I have to commend them for their guts, for their determination, and for their skill. I can't express it well enough, so I'll just say it again: Being an agent is not easy.

-----------------------

Well, I think I've effectively re-introduced myself to myself (and to the readers who care, hee), so I'll stop here now. I'm enjoying blogging once again, and even though I am dead broke right now and can't pay for another hour of internet cafe time, the statement I wrote in the last entry still holds: it's going to be a blogging spree from here on out, so prepare for more. How am I going to do that without a single centavo in my name? Well, destiny has ways that man cannot fathom.

'Til next time.

Just a little bit more...

2005-08-15T23:19:00.000+08:00

Just a little more tweaks here and there and I'll be done with remodelling my blog. After that, it's going to be one hell of a blog entry spree!

This is it for now, though. I'll reserve every little issue, comment, observation, analysis, inference, and message the next time I post. It's not going to take long. God knows I've sacrificed enough time for work to delay blogging any longer. My hands are itching...! But it must wait.

'Til next time, folks. 'Til next time.

Real work starts tomorrow.

2005-06-19T15:18:00.000+08:00

So far, it's been quite a treat. We feel like royalty, actually, with everything served at our tables. We have free morning snacks, free lunch, and free afternoon snacks. We get free insurance education which other employees have to study on their own. Even though we've taken 3 quizzes and a final exam for that insurance education program, the school atmosphere still shelters us from the real thing, from the real world. Moreover, executives take time to talk to us about the departments they're heading. We even had a breakfast meeting with the CEO and president of the company, JLC himself.

We're very fortunate, indeed. But you know what they say: "To whom much is given, much is expected." One of the things which Mr. Sotelo, the SVP for HR, warned us about is that people are always watching us. The nastier ones want to see us fall flat on our faces. It's a scary thought which really bothered me. Ms. Lani, one of our trainors, placed it in a less scary light: these people just want to challenge us, to see if we are really worth the royal service. Again, it's less scary, but scary still. There's a lot of proving to be done.

The proving starts tomorrow. Tomorrow, the free snacks will be gone, the free lunches will be gone, and the school atmosphere will be gone. Tomorrow, we will start rounding up all the departments. Here are the mechanics. For each department, an area trainor will be assigned to us. After training ends, a project will be assigned. This project will be presented to the executives in a meeting presentation. We will then be graded on our work, then we move on to the next department. After six months, we will be asked which department we wish to be assigned to. If this fits with their results, we go there.

During this period, we will be watched. We will be challenged. I don't know if I can handle it, but I hope I can. I'm sorta kinda confident I can. Hee. We will still be sheltered in a certain way, anyway, and that soothes me. We do not wish to be called spoiled brats, of course, and that, too, will motivate us.

Tomorrow, I will be going to the Marketing department. I know nothing about marketing, but I'll do my best to learn the tricks of the trade. Good luck to me! :)

First days of work.

2005-06-04T20:15:00.000+08:00

Happiness. That's all I can say right now.

Well, not really. I have much to say.

The nervousness (or downright terror at seriously demented times) which I have felt ever since finding out I was hired by PhilamLife as a Management Associate trainee was completely wiped out by the events of the last three days of "work." I cannot possibly describe everything that transpired in excruciating detail, but let it suffice to say that I had a most wonderful time.

For one, this year's batch of MA's (as they would like to call us) is a WINNING TEAM (as we would like to call ourselves). Grabe, it's like we clicked all at once. Although we come from different schools (5 from Ateneo, 2 from La Salle, and 1 from UP) and different backgrounds, we had a common bond, and that bond seemed to be all that mattered: Lahat kami mabababaw. In our shallowness, we gained our strength. Hee.

It also didn't matter that I was the only guy in the group. True. As one of the other MA's put it, "the only thorn among the roses." Ha. I felt at ease with each and every one of the girls, even if they had contrasting personalities from one another. And it became apparent, through their banters and pang-aalaska, that they were also at ease with me.

The program and the trainers we had were in themselves commendable. As you might have noticed, I placed work in quotation marks. It wasn't work at all. I am quite aware that in the future, this will change, but the past three days-- not work. Not at all. It was more of a team-building seminar or an orientation seminar for us. We underwent different activities, and then we had discussion about things we learned during those activities. Trust, Coordination, Communication, you know the drill. The important thing about these activities though was that no one among our group ever became a killjoy. Everyone was game. Everyone was willing to be involved.

This Monday, fun will be lessened, and the more serious side of things will be heightened. We will be having classes about insurance. Hee. I can't believe I became very nervous about this. As my Papa said, "It's just like school!"

---------------

P.S. I didn't provide much detail about the events of the past few days, so here's a small list of things done and said: malaking balat sa mukha with hair; getting thrown inside a small square; dancing 98 Degrees' "Because of You" ("you're my sunshine, oh yeah"); chicken legs; imperfect teeth; the power of dreaming; fear of falling and failing; drawing our coat-of-arms; getting blindfolded four times in three days; "Maria goes to market"; Lloyd Umali; hamon at keso de bola; Toni Gonzaga; sadness, wonderfulness, happiness; "True"; mole with hair. There are a lot of things which I forgot or missed out on, of course, but with the list above, you get the idea. :)

Nervous about work and new sickness.

2005-05-29T14:37:00.000+08:00

It's been going on for some time now: I'm agitated about my first days of work. It's like going to college, only that, instead of being more excited than anxious, I'm actually more anxious than excited. What if I screw up? What if I fail to carry out a simple instruction? What if I don't get along with the other trainees? I know I'm being unnecessarily and unhealthily worried, but I can't help myself. This is all new to me.

Kinda like this strange growth on my right arm. I think it's a cockroach bite, but I'm not sure. At first there was a hard, tiny mound-- a reddish swelling. Touching it revealed the fact that it was sensitive. A little poking in the immediate area would immediately bring me to my knees in pain (okay, it's not that bad). A few days ago, though, the tip of the reddish swelling turned into a blackish/purplish swelling. And it seems to be expanding throughout the tiny mound. Now I begin to worry. I have had cockroach bites before, but I have never experienced this blackening. It reminds me, quite terrifyingly, of gangrene infections. Ugh. I am getting sick a few days before work. First the sty, and now that's over, this.

Whatever am I to do?

Breakfast.

2005-05-28T10:37:00.000+08:00

When it comes to "important" life functions, I find sleep the most important. It is then no surprise to anyone to find me skipping dinner because I'm already feeling sleepy, or skipping breakfast because I'm still feeling sleepy. What I did this morning, then, would come as definitely a suprise.

I ate breakfast.

But that's not the end of it. I didn't eat breakfast in the boarding house. I didn't just wake up, went down to the kitchen, and ate. What I did required more effort than that. I woke up at 9 AM (that's very early for me), took a bath, found some clothes to wear, went out, then rode a jeep... to catch the breakfast meals of Jollibee in Makati Avenue. I don't know what came over me, but whatever force it was, it was decisive enough to make me move my lazy ass. Perhaps hunger beat sleepiness this time?

Anyway, I had a wonderful time eating. I planned on eating corned beef + egg + pancakes + coffee, but Jollibee's stock of pancakes and corned beef ran out (and I thought I was early!). So I decided to go for the burger steak + egg + iced tea meal. Since McDonald's was just two feet away from Jollibee (competition, bah), I went there afterwards to feed my craving for pancakes. I drank my coffee there, as well.

All in all, the meals were delicious. I never thought breakfast would taste so good. I don't know if I'll be able to do this again in the near future, but with my work coming up next Wednesday, June 1st, I might be eating breakfast each and every day.

Chats on an idle Sunday.

2005-05-22T17:16:00.000+08:00

I woke up at 5:30 AM today, then went back to sleep, woke up at 9:30, saw Jel leave for Laguna, slept again, woke up again at 12 to play on my computer, slept again at 1, then woke up at 4 to take my bath. Then I went out to surf the Net. My days have been like this for weeks now. Sigh... I'm nervous about work, but it must be better than having to find something to do each and every time!

Anyway, I have something to do now, so I'm not listless any more. What is it that took away my listlessness, you might ask? Well, I'm engaged in 3 different chats with my dear friends. One chat is on my chatbox here in the blog, the other is in my e-mail, and the last is in YM.

I'm chatting with Justine in the chatbox about the sty in my eye. Apparently, she has experience with them, as well. It appears that it may or may not be a sty. It can also be a chalazion. According to this site, chalazion is

a generally painless, slowly enlarging nodule on the eyelid formed by inflammation of the meibomian glands (deep chalazion) or Zeis sebaceous glands (superficial chalazion). Chalazia are often chronic, without the acute inflammation observed in a hordeolum. A hordeolum usually is painful, involves glands of the eyelid pilosebaceous unit, and is infected with staphylococci, streptococci, or other skin flora. They may be more prominent in the conjunctiva (internal) or external portion of the tarsus.

On the other hand, according to this site, a sty is an

acute infection or inflammation of the secretory glands of the eyelids.

I know it's too technical, but at least I know something about it. Justine also gave me some prescribed drugs for the disease (?), and some advice about surgery. Thanks, Jus, I really appreciate it. Beee happeee!!! :)

I'm also chatting with Tristan through e-mail. Twister's in New York right now, enjoying the sights and the NBA play-offs. I can't really relate to anything about basketball in particular and sports in general, so I'm just glad he's happy about the whole thing! Hee. Tristan has been my roommate in the dorm for 3 years, and a really good friend. I'ts great to be corresponding with him. For one, he's given me a lot of insight about the great American culture-- from the technological wonders of HDTV and TIVO, to the psychological reasons behind American teens' preference of The OC over One Tree Hill (I love One Tree Hill; I find The OC bland and boring.). Thanks, Tris, and beee happeee!!!

Finally, I'm chatting with Jacques on YM. This boy has matured in the span of 2 years that I've known him. Not only that, but I might even go far as to say that he's matured beyond his years. When I was his age, I was still making my cartoonish drawings and making my silly games, still convincingly feigning innocence about the wonder that is love, and still establishing what I really want in life. But it seems Jacques has already experienced and done all that. I'm not sure if I'm envious of him, maturing this early, but what I'm sure of is that he is a strangely determined guy-- he knows what he wants. I give him props for that, as long as he remembers that not everything revolves on THAT ONE THING-- his education, for instance, is a very important aspect of his life right now, especially with the entrance exams for the colleges nearing. Jacques, I wish you luck in everything, and I wish you happiness. I guess this applies to you more than to anyone else: Beee happeee!!!

Sty in my eye.

2005-05-17T13:10:00.000+08:00

I have a growing sty in my eye. It has been bothering me these past few days, since not only does it affect me physiologically, it's also affecting me psychologically. You know, aesthetics and all that. My good friend Toj mentioned that she has the same problem, although in her case it occurs more frequently: she has them at least twice every year. I asked her what she does with the sty, to which she recommended a simple yet effective way of removing it: warm compress. Just place the compress on the affected eye, wait for the pus to come out, and presto! No more sty!

Unfortunately, it hasn't been that effective for me. I forgot to ask how long and how hot the warm compress should be, so maybe I'm not doing something right. Yes, I've tried it, and I'm pretty sure that the swelling on my eye has not gone down. If I look at it at a certain angle I'm pretty sure that the bump looks a little bit more depressed, but then again, I might be just fooling myself.

Sigh. I don't like this sty. If anyone has anything to say about any remedies not involving herbalists, eating vegetables, or cockroaches, please let me know.

Reality.

2005-05-12T16:37:00.000+08:00

TV, I mean. Reality TV.

Uchenna and Joyce won! Wonderfulness. Although the ending wasn't merit-based (Rob and Amber were already in another country, for God's sake, and were almost on the next one, but then KILLER BUNCHING and DIVINE INTERVENTION paved the way for a Uchenna and Joyce win), it was alright to me. Uchenna and Joyce didn't seem like Chip and Kim anyway, whom I absolutely loathed for Yielding Colin and Christie. Hee. Still resenting that particular win.

On other reality news, American Idol! Yes, I've had the chance to watch the last two episodes, and am now familiar with the remaining contestants. Here's my ranking based on the two songs they sang yesterday:

COUNTRY: Anthony (great vocals on the ballad he sang); Carrie (Carrie = country, of course she'd do well); Bo (boring song, but great singing); Vonzell (just hideous).

CITY: Bo (I felt it, dawg!); Anthony (he must be scared shitless of the prospect of being in the bottom 2 again); Vonzell (liked her rendition of that upbeat song); Carrie (she and Anthony sang the same song, but she sucked at it, for some reason not-so-apparent to me as yet).

This is Reality TV month, I think. Many series are ending this time, perhaps preparing for a new sweep of shows this coming June, here as well as in the States. I hear The Amazing Race is having its Family Edition sometime soon, and the Season 1 DVD is coming up this June. At last! DVD!

-----------

In unrelated news, I'd like to thank Sam for the wonderful blow-out she gave us! Happy birthday, and may all your days be happy!

Leithold dies at age 80.

2005-05-12T15:59:00.000+08:00

The first time I got acquainted with Leithold's Calculus 7th edition book was during my 4th year in Pisay. I never got to use it often then. Mrs. Egasan, my feisty calculus teacher, always brought sheets and sheets of manila paper to show us, summarizing eveything that Leithold had to say in the book. Besides, we didn't want to bring the 100-ton book everyday in class.

I realized in college how important that 100-ton book was. Mrs. Egasan was, and from what I hear, remains as, the most fascinating teacher a person can have in high school, but not even she can reduce Leithold's teachings to a finite number of manila paper sheets. In college, I discovered the wealth of mathematical information that book contained. I didn't use the book only for the four semesters that I had calculus; I used it until the very end of my college education. The content of that book encompassed almost every possible mathematical subject known to mankind that it was impossible not to refer to it every now and then. That's how amazing it was.

It is unfortunate, then, to hear this news. Louis Leithold died at the age of 80. I never thought I would be disturbed by such incident, but I am. I feel a great loss has taken place. Calculus would never be the same without him.

Here is the news, taken from news.yahoo.com.

LOS ANGELES - Louis Leithold, who wrote one of the most widely used calculus textbooks and helped change the way the subject is taught, has died. He was 80.

Leithold was found dead April 29 at his Los Angeles home by the parent of a worried student. The coroner's office said he died of natural causes.

Leithold wrote "The Calculus," which became a standard text and was credited with changing the way the subject is studied. The book, first published in 1968, is widely used in high schools and universities and is in its seventh printing.

He was 72 when he declined to retire and instead launched a calculus program at Malibu High School after being approached by a teacher.

"He inspired you to do mathematics. His face would just light up," said student Matthew Mesher, 17.

Among the many educators he influenced was Jaime Escalante, whose success teaching calculus to poor, largely minority students in East Los Angeles was chronicled in the 1988 film "Stand and Deliver."

"I called him my adviser," Escalante said Saturday. "He was one of the great mathematicians. His book had beautiful problems. It made us believe that anybody could do calculus."

Leithold held a doctorate in math and taught at numerous schools during his long career, including California State University at Los Angeles, the University of Southern California, Pepperdine University and the Open University of Great Britain.

Happy Mother's Day...

2005-05-08T16:19:00.000+08:00

...to the person who mentored me during my young younger youngest years, never failing in her drive to make sure that I do my assignments, never wavering in her desire to make sure that I take all her handwritten sample exams;

...to the person who calls me "abnormal" each chance she gets, but does so in the most affectionate way possible;

...to the person who does not even think twice at laughing at my corny jokes, at my slapstick comedy, and at my psychotic panggigigil;

...to the person who understands and just laughs off my indignation at her obsession with curtains, cross-stitch, and general cleaning;

...to the person who never hesitates in making me leche flan, chicken and pork adobo, sinigang, and other recipes involving shrimps and crabs, knowing fully well that I love them to bits;

...to the person who always threatened not to cook any more food than what was on the table (whether I like it or not), but always, at the last minute, cooked something else;

...to the person who has given a touch of femininity (and therefore class) to an otherwise testosterone-laden family;

...to the person who fuses our family together;

...to the person who has always been proud of who I am and what I've accomplished in life;

...to the person who's always been on my side;

...to the person who gave birth to me;

...to the person who cares for me;

...to the person who loves me.

Happy Mother's Day, Mama. I love you, too. :)

A little bit of everything.

2005-05-08T12:26:00.000+08:00

Just received my NBI clearance. Papa mentioned an affidavit which came along with it, one that (I'm not sure) stated that I was not (or I was, I'm not really sure) the person that had that particular restriction order, but didn't send it. Since I had the clearance already, it was irrelevant whether I signed the affidavit or not. Nevertheless, I plan to clear my name with the DOST as soon as I find the energy to do it.

My NBI clearance clearly had a NO CRIMINAL RECORD typed into it, so that's good. There's also a NOT FOR TRAVEL ABROAD stamped onto it, and that's also good. That was what I expected. My NBI problem is solved, then, at least for the meantime.

-----

Watched Kingdom of Heaven with Jel yesterday. I didn't take it as a sign of a revival in my movie career, though, as it took more discussion and debate than life on other planets or the recent discovery of a flaw in Andrew Wiles's proof of Fermat's last theorem.

And, of course, that was a perfect segue to insert a commentary on the flaw found by one UP professor in Andrew Wiles's proof of Fermat's last theorem. The e-mail sent to me by one of my friends had the disclaimer that the story could have been fabricated, but I wouldn't be surprised if it wasn't. I don't understand a single thing about the proof Wiles gave, but it seemed too complicated for my tastes. Those who know about the ages-old problem might recall Fermat writing on the margins of a book these words: "I have discovered a truly remarkable proof which this margin is too small to contain." The proof Wiles gave used results from a study made by two Japanese men, and this just came very recently! If, indeed, Fermat was telling the truth that he had proof, then it must be much simpler than Wiles's proof. Granted again, of course, that Fermat was telling the truth.

Mathematics can never be so much more fascinating! :)

DOST and NBI.

2005-05-03T13:13:00.000+08:00

My suspicions were correct. Remember that entry I wrote about having to run clearances all week? And not getting all of them? Specifically the NBI clearance? Well, as I've written, I was not able to get the said clearance because I received a HIT, meaning there's someone else out there in the Philippines with the same name as mine, and he's involved in some nefarious crime. I remember commenting how unlikely it was for someone to have the name Kerwin Ray Sentillas. I was right. That Kerwin Ray Sentillas was no one else but me. SHOCKER.

How did I know about this? Well, my father sent someone to get the clearance for me in the NBI station near Victoria Plaza. He was then told by the NBI personnel there that I must have a clearance from DOST. Darnit, I knew it! I've always thought that there was something awfully amiss at the fact that I graduated from Ateneo without having any real exit interviews or anything from DOST. You see, I've been a DOST scholar for four years in the Ateneo, and have received allowances and some subsidies from them. At the very least, I would have expected some meeting with a DOST representative at the end of the semester to make sure that I'm done with everything and that I'm going to uphold all the terms in their contract. None came, so I didn't think about it. Until now.

I wonder what my violation was. One of the things in the contract, if I recall correctly, is that I am to serve the government for the number of years DOST had kept me under its "wings." In my case, 4 years. I must not work abroad during this time. My purpose for getting a NBI clearance clearly stated "local employment." So what could my violation be? It could only be some kind of finality, a clearance that I have done as the contract said. Or could it be that I violated their "serve the government" clause? PhilamLife is clearly a private company, not one owned by the government. But I distinctly remember clarifying this particular clause with their DOST representative during one of the Ateneo scholars' meeting with DOST. She said that private companies are OK, as long as I don't get to work abroad. I remember that clearly. So I guess I just need a clearance from DOST.

That might be a relief, but it's really not. If I am to claim some kind of clearance from them, I would have to do so in Taguig, which is kilometers away from where I am now. I might as well go to Cavite or Laguna for the distance and time it would take for me to get there. Sigh. I just wish I knew something more about this predicament I'm in. June 1st is approaching rapidly, and I need to present my clearances to the company before I get to have any compensation (meaning: salary).

I'm calling the Office of Admission and Aid later to see what exactly I missed or forgot doing. Papa's calling later to confirm whether or not the person he sent got my clearance. I'll just hope for the best meantime.

From movies to VideoCity.

2005-05-01T12:12:00.000+08:00

Look at the silver screen section on the right side of this blog. The last movie you see there is Robots. It's sad. I can name a lot of fantastic movies that are showing right now, and a lot more which have already exited theaters. And none of these, I think, I'm going to watch anymore... at least until they reach VideoCity. Granted, Robots is not the last film I've seen in a theater. Between that time and now, I've seen Miss Congeniality 2 and Can The Love Begin. But that's it. I haven't even seen Closer! Or The Interpreter! Or Guess Who! Or Sahara! Given my old college self, I would have seen these in a matter of two weeks.

Well, the reason came home to me one particularly inactive day. There was an agenda embedded with each movie-going. Watching a movie was not done for watching's sake. It was more of a background activity. Now that that agenda has become quite trivial and pointless, the reason behind movie-going vanished, and all that remained was the conscious thought that watching a movie's quite expensive, and there's always VideoCity.

I am now a VideoCity boy. If I can't get my weekly fix of movies in theaters, I'm going to get it in my PC (well, Jel's PC, but that doesn't really matter... right Jel? Hee.). I have to have it! It's not as fantastic as watching movies in theater, but I can't complain. I'm enjoying it all the same. Imagine, for the past two weeks since Jel and I got our VideoCity cards, we have watched a total of 8-12 films. Amazing, right? The movies we watched were those we haven't caught in theaters, or those we thought were total crap, or foreign films, or cheesy Filipino romantic flicks. As I've said, we weren't altogether that disappointed.

Hmmm... I'm thinking of changing the contents of the silver screen section. This change from theater to computer is a huge step for me. Hee.

* * *

Congratulations to my little bro Kenneth for passing the Ateneo High School entrance exam! Miss you, Ken! Palaro ng Disciples II map mo! Wee!!!

Blues clues.

2005-04-29T17:15:00.000+08:00

I don't have any frickin' idea why I wrote that for the title. I must be going crazy.

Sam, Joey, and I went out yesterday! It was good seeing them again, especially Sam, who I haven't seen since graduation. It's funny, though, that all of us had other agendas other than the get-together. I had to go to Ateneo (where all three of us met) to request for my Transcript of Records; Sam had to go to Shangri-La in Shaw to buy a magic wallet for his boyfriend Topher; and Joey had just come from an interview with UnionBank before he arrived in Ateneo. Still, it was wonderful hanging out with my college buddies!

* * *

TV Matters

Constantine got booted out. I don't watch American Idol, but Jel is gonna be sad. Big time. On other reality TV news, Rob and Amber's cockiness and arrogance finally had its great karmic payback! After fooling around with Meredith and Gretchen about an earlier flight which he thought did not exist, whatdyaknow? It did exist, guaranteeing a 2-hour lead by Uchenna and Joyce and Meredith and Gretchen over their smug faces.

* * *

Just watched Can This Be Love starring Sandara Park and Hero Angeles. I'll defer my long critique about the film, but let it suffice for now that it's infinitely better than Let The Love Begin.

* * *

That's it for now, guys. Blog again soon.

Dilemma, part two.

2005-04-24T19:02:00.000+08:00

I bet you don't see any Dilemma, part one. I've written a long entry about a dilemma about work that I'm in, but I realized that divulging such information to an exposed environment such as this one may be against the conditions of the contract I signed, the one about confidentiality. So I hold back. I wanted to post it! Perhaps I'll ask permission if I can do so.

To the curious, it's a choice between two different career tracks I can take within the same company. This dilemma was presented to me during the cocktails I mentioned earlier. It seems that job hunting isn't over as I thought it was.

Updates, and a book of days.

2005-04-24T16:20:00.000+08:00

It's been too long. 18 days? Are you freaking kidding me? It's not that I don't have the time (gosh, that is something I have tons of), but there hasn't really been a nice, inexpensive internet cafe nearby. Unlike Katipunan, Makati has none of those clean and highly functional 20-30-peso-an-hour cafes I have come to know and love.

Anyway, updates. I've been in Manila since April 10, Sunday, four days after my last entry here. It felt weird directing the taxi driver to Makati rather than to Quezon City, and it even felt weirder when I entered my new home: the boarding house. Jel wasn't there when I arrived, so for the hour or so that he was gone, I immersed myself in detailed observation. I looked at the sky, I looked at the tall buildings around the vicinity, I looked at the intricacies of my room. Even though I've been to Jel's boarding house countless times before then, it's still a different feeling being there, not as a visitor, but as a resident. That certain feeling can be placed between anxiety and excitement. Anxiety for the future's uncertainty; excitement for the future's uncertainty.

On April 11, Monday, I went to PhilamLife in UN Avenue to sign my employment contract with the company. No, that's wrong: I raced to PhilamLife. I called up the company around 8 AM, wondering when exactly the contract signing would be. I was still very sleepy at this point. The guy then informed me that the participants of the Management Associate Program were already in the Training Pavillion and helpfully told me that I could still catch up. Any hint of sleepiness vanished in an instant. I literally raced towards the place, which, by the way, save for a general address, I had no idea where to locate. I had to rely on the taxi driver to know where the exact location of the building was.

I arrived, my heart beating loudly in my chest, my mind thinking of reasons why I was not able to come on time, only to find out that the guy had confused the MAP with the STP, the program for on-the-job student trainees. The sigh of relief I exhaled must have echoed along each and every corridor of the building.

I regained composure after a few more minutes of post-stress heavy breathing. I still had no idea where to go, and I was already in the building. Fortunately, recruitment called me just then, gave me instructions as to where I should go and who I should meet. Unfortunately, when I arrived at the HR Department, I was informed that the contract signing would not be done that day. I still had to have my medical check-up. The good thing is, except for the singular problem of not being able to pee right away, the medical check-up, as well as the day, went well after that.

On April 15, Friday, I signed my contract with PhilamLife. I now officially had work! Wonderfulness! That night, I went to the AJSS reunion. I've seen faces I haven't seen since time immemorial, and it was great to have time to unwind with people whom you once shared a most memorable summer vacation with. Another wonderfulness!

On April 17, Sunday, I went to Joey's to celebrate their new house's blessing and his brother's birthday. The food was great! Thanks for the invitation, Joey!

On April 18, Monday, the MAP trainees had cocktails with the HR executives. I felt very agitated before going to the event, as I thought that it was a BIG THING. And every BIG THING that happens in my life makes me really nervous. Thankfully, the other trainees were people that I think I can absolutely relate with. There were 5 of us MAP trainees all in all, and I was the only boy. That factoid in itself created a lot of opportunities for friendly bantering from the girls. I felt very at ease with them, and the rest of the company, the HR group, were very accommodating and hospitable, as well. I think I felt really comfortable and enjoyed myself so thoroughly that, when asked what I could tell about myself that would make them (the executives) remember me, I managed to let slip the fact that I'm totally jologs. Looking back, I'm beginning to have real concerns whether or not I've made an embarrassment of myself and whether or not I'd like to have them have that first impression of me imprinted in their minds. Oh well, they seemed to enjoy that little piece of info, though.

From April 19 to the present, I've done nothing but bum. Work starts at June 1, so I have more than a month to bum some more. So far, I've bought 2 PC games, rented 10 VCD's, and spent countless steps walking from AA, Melqui, and Monique's place to my boarding house and vice versa. I've entertained the thought of going back to Davao, but I immediately scrapped the idea knowing that work-related events may come at any time. Thank God, Jel is with me in the boarding house, and that my very good pals are living nearby, or my head would have exploded by now with all the non-activity.

I think I've written enough for this entry. I still have strength for a few more, so stay tuned.

Clearances.

2005-04-06T15:52:00.000+08:00

This is the third straight day I've been taking care of my clearances. Last Monday, I went to City Hall to claim my cedula. The line was short, and the counter-girl was sweet, so I had no major frustrations there. After dealing with that, I decided to go to the San Pedro Police Station to claim my police clearance. It was nearby, so I just had to walk. Upon arriving at the station, however, the police guy showed me a huge array of ID's, explaining that these were the people who were inside. Since it was already 3:30 in the afternoon and the office closes at 4:30, I knew that I missed my chance. I then decided to go to NBI (in front of Victoria Plaza) to get my NBI clearance. Unfortunately, the guy in the front desk informed me that their computer was not functioning so I better come back tomorrow. Frustrating! Tomorrow, then.

The next day, I arrived at the San Pedro Police Station at around 1:30. I waited in line to get my police clearance form, borrowed a pen from a stranger to fill the form with, finished the form, fell in line once again to pass the form, and waited for my name to be called. It was 3 when my name was called. It was only when I had stepped out of the police station when I saw the glaring mistake that the typist had done. Instead of "Kerwin", the typist had typed "Jerwin." It was a major typographical error. I'm not "Jerwin," obviously, so that police clearance was null and void, despite the long minutes I've spent waiting for it. Frustrated, I decided to go back to NBI. Thankfully, there was no queue inside. After getting my fingerprints and all, I went back to the front desk to pass my form. The guy then informed me that I had to go inside Victoria Plaza to have my picture taken, to pay for the clearance, and to wait for the release of the clearance. I went there, and lo! The queue I've been dreading was right there. My heart was crushed. Since it was already 4 by the time I went there, I knew that I missed my chance again. Tomorrow, then.

And tomorrow's today. I decided to go to NBI first, before going back to the police station to rectify the spelling error. After having my picture taken and getting the receipt for my clearance, I waited for an hour to get the result. However, it was not the result I was expecting. Instead of an NBI clearance, what I got was my receipt with the word "HIT" emblazoned on the top. What is a "HIT," you ask? A "HIT" means that I'm not yet cleared. A "HIT" means that there's someone in the Philippines with the same name as mine and that person has gotten himself involved with some goddamn case. A "HIT" means that I have to wait for two more weeks to get my clearance, and that is clearly not possible since I have to leave for Manila this Sunday. A "HIT" possibly means that I have to wait in line and pay for 115 pesos for the picture all over again, only this time, I'm going to have to wait in line in Manila. Which is worse. Much, much worse.

My head is aching right this very moment. Not even the success of getting my name corrected in the police station lifted my spirits even a bit. And even if it had, everything would have been nullified by the fact that I had inadvertently discovered who got cut out in today's episode of The Amazing Race. I waited for the episode awhile ago, but Studio 23 did not air it. I assumed that the clip show was shown instead of the next episode. I visited my favorite forums to see how the clip show went, and then... and then... my eyes were greeted with today's eliminated team. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.

I am not in a good mood right now.

Heroes of Might and Magic and other stuff.

2005-04-05T18:20:00.000+08:00

Check Heroes V's website out. For all Heroes fans out there, I believe we have the best Heroes ever! It's too early to tell, of course, but still. I've played Heroes 1 to 4, and I've even played King's Bounty, Heroes's DOS predecessor, so I'm pretty much psyched out about this one. One thing bothers me, though.

P4 2.5Ghz CPU (or equivalent)
512MB of RAM
128MB graphics card (ATI 9000s and higher, GF 4, FX and higher)
2GB of free hard drive space

Those are the rumored minimum requirements for Heroes V. My gas! My recent computer does not even come close! And I'm not sure I can buy a computer by the first quarter of next year with those ridiculously high requirements! This dampens my enthusiasm a bit, but not to worry, it may be another Ubisoft April Fools' joke. Whew!

In other news, I'm glad that Brian and Greg are still in The Amazing Race! The 2-hour episode last Wednesday really had me cheering for them in that final footrace. I think that was the closest footrace I've ever seen on this show. And to think that Brian and Greg have provided for two out of the three close finishes I've seen this season (the first was with their quasi-girlfriends, Heidi and Megan). I'm glad Ray and Deana are gone. Ray reminds me too much of that evil Jonathan from Season 6.

Go B and G! :)

Masbate, part deux.

2005-04-05T17:17:00.000+08:00

I've changed a lot since the last time I've been to Masbate. I've matured and grown, and learned some necessary social skills. Truth to tell, though, it was one hard week of socializing. Some of it was fun and entertaining, while some of it was repetitive and tiring. As I've said before, I'm not much of a social person. I'd rather stay at home at nights and play Heroes on my computer rather than attend a celebration in a crowded discoteque or bar. During that week, I had to go out as much as possible and mingle with every relative that I meet.

Despite the apparent difficulty of this, however, I'd like to think that I learned a lot from and about them as much as they've learned a lot from and about me. During that week, I felt like Alex Haley in Roots. It was fascinating to find all members of my genealogy gathered in a single province. It was even more amazing to discover several interesting trivia about my ancestry. For instance, I found out that my great-grandfather (mother side) was a priest! And that's direct consanguinity, not merely affinity! Even the uncle who I'm closest to was named after him: Nicolas Escape!

Not only that: in Palanas, Masbate, there's actually a street named after my middle name (which, obviously, is my mother's maiden surname)! Escape Street! It runs across Pillejera Street, which is the surname of the husband of one of my aunts!

Not only that: both my grandparents, father side, were born on August 13! It's incredible, really. There's little chance of two people having the same birthdays marrying each other, but there's even less chance of them having an apo with the same birthday! It's surprising, though, that none of my parents have commented on this ever. Weird, right?

[I apologize for the exclamation points. Hee.]

The interesting information never ended. That part of the trip was great all around. But another great thing that happened to me was the realization that I was not alone. Sometimes, I have this not-so-nice feeling (I can't exactly describe it, but I know it's not positive, so I'll just go for "not-so-nice feeling.") when I think of the fact that I don't hear the surnames Sentillas or Escape mentioned anywhere. From Kindergarten names to College names to names being announced as future contestants in noontime TV shows to nursing passers to board passers to bar passers, I have not encountered a single Sentillas or Escape. It's disconcerting, to say the least. But when I went there, in the land of my forefathers, the overwhelming number of people sharing my middle and last names was, well, overwhelming. It made me feel like I'm part of a formidable force. Part of a strong army.

There is a but to this, though. The experience there was a blast, but I don't think I could have survived there all the same. The living conditions are far from eeeevil or inhospitable, but with the way I was raised, I don't think that I could have stayed there longer than necessary. I've seen difficult times (I went to an immersion with the Aetas in Zambales, if you recall), and Masbate was far from that, but my relatives were in not-so-wonderful times, all the same. This realization made me respect my parents even more. Almost all of their sisters and brothers stayed in Masbate, but they chose not to. Papa chose to expand his horizon, and Mama agreed to take the risk with him. It was a huge risk, to be sure: my father was only 20 when he married my mother. 20. Like my current age. It took a lot of courage to be able to pull oneself out of such hard times. I'm proud of my parents.

All in all, the Masbate experience was still a blast. I think I have repaired my reputation this time around, and I think I've undergone a major attitude shift. Never again will they appear distant to me. I come from their bloodlines, and I'm always going to be proud of that.

Hear, hear. Still here.

2005-04-02T15:38:00.000+08:00

I know. I've been gone from the blogging world almost two weeks since that entry about my wonderful graduation day. No, I haven't been eaten by sharks, thrown into everlasting limbo, or spontaneously combusted. I'm alive, in other words. Alive! Awake! Enthusiastic!

After my graduation, my father and I went to Masbate to visit my relatives. Both my parents came from Masbate, so the visit actually touched both sides of my ancestry. During the weekdays, we stayed in my mother's parents' house in Palanas, Masbate. During the weekend, we stayed in my father's parents' house in Maanahao, Masbate. We were there from March 21 to 28, so that pretty much explains the lack of contact with the cyberworld.

Before this trip, I have only been to Masbate twice. The first time was when I was 5, during the time when my Lolo Cordong (my father's father) died. The second time was when I was 13, right after my elementary graduation. I left quite a reputation after that second trip. When asked, my relatives would recall moments when I just locked up in my room, refusing to talk to anyone, immersing myself in the tons of novels I brought for the trip. Yep, I was not one for socializing during that time. In the end, all they thought of me was that I was snobbish little brat. Somehow, I didn't care too much about that description. I didn't care too much about them, anyhow.

My father had his reasons of me going back to Masbate, and perhaps my attitude was one of them. He didn't really want me to be remembered by my relatives as someone who was such a jackass. Papa and I talked a lot during our trip (bonding session kumbaga), and he told me that the visit prevented something worse than being badly remembered: not being remembered at all. I guess he's right. It will be years before I can go back to my province once again, and when I do come back, cousins my age will have spouses and kids, will have families of their own, and someone who has visited them eons ago, with a notoriety attached to boot, will most likely be forgotten beneath the chambers of their memories and recollections.

[To be continued... so much time, so little money!]

Other news: I have a job! Yippee! Yep, PhilamLife accepted me as one of the 10 Management Trainees they're training for this year. I have to go back on April 11, though, in time for the contract signing, and that's a little sad because I really want to spend some more time with my family, but on the other hand, it's also good, since I get to spend more time with Jeland in our room in the boarding house (very nice bathroom, wee!) and I get to go to work!

Other news: Ubisoft has announced the release date of Heroes of Might and Magic V! Wonderfulness! It will be released next year, around January. Can't wait to see this edition of HOMM!

That's all for now. The post about Masbate will be done, assuredly. :)

Graduation.

2005-03-18T21:42:00.000+08:00

I just had my graduation today. Still tired, but just want to extend my heartfelt CONGRATULATIONS to BS Math 2005 in particular, and to the Ateneo graduates in general! We did it! Yahoo! :)

Good news. Bad news.

2005-03-16T21:37:00.000+08:00

Bad news: I lost the 7,000-peso Florsheim shoes Papa gave me when I went to Manila for college. Not only that, but I lost the 3,000-peso eyeglasses he bought me last year, the 2,000-peso monitor he bought for my computer the year before that, and the 500-peso CD-ROM that came along with it. The prices are indicated for the sole purpose of showing how much of a college fuck-up I've been.

Good news: When I showed Papa the list of all the evils I've done, he didn't erupt like Pinatubo. Mama didn't, either. He wasn't all that pleased, sure, but I'll take what I have. That was close, though. I LOVE MY PARENTS! :) (We even ate at Pier One later last night. Wonderfulness.)

Good news: Mama and Papa are here! Wee! (Obvious ba?)

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Bad news: Jeland is sick. Get well, Jel. I'm sending all my good vibes to you now. Thank you for the nice entry. :)

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Good news: Everyone in our block is graduating! Yehey! I am so proud of my block. I've heard news that this year has the most number of Math Majors graduating. And we're complete, at that! Congratulations, blockmates!

Good news: We skipped the expensive Blue Roast and decided to create our own mini-Blue Roast. Everyone brought a little bit of food. When everyone was complete and accounted for, there were these items amidst the lit candles: 4 boxes of Cielo's donuts, a bilao of pansit palabok, bato-bato (chicken rolled in flour and deep-fried to oily perfection), a cake, pork barbeque, and dozens of little hotdogs on sticks. Joey and I decided to give a card as our contribution. Not any blank, congratulatory graduation card, mind you, but a card signed by the different teachers we've had throughout our 4 years in college. It was quite a feat, but it was fulfilling and rewarding all the same.

-----------------

Good news: I just had my BPI interview awhile ago. It was better than expected. Not only does BPI have tie-ins with AyalaLife Insurance, it has an Officer Training Program (OTP), as well! Mary V., the girl who interviewed me, told me that the OTP will last for 6 to 7 months, after which the trainee is bound to the company for 3 years. After two years in Operations, though, the officer (!) will have the option to choose his appointments. Of course, I'll settle for the Actuarial Department of AyalaLife.

Good news: I also had my PhilamLife panel interview a few days ago. I don't know what to feel, really, but my friends have been telling me that they cannot NOT accept me. I want to believe them, but it's best not to expect. I'll be hearing from them in two weeks. There are three possibilities awaiting me during that time: 1) I did not pass and would have to find work elsewhere; 2) I passed and will be trained under the Management Trainee Program; 3) I passed and will be trained under PhilamLife's actuarial department. I'm all for number 3, but number 2 is more likely. Number 1... I try not to think about it.

Bad news: During the PhilamLife interview, I was asked by one of the senior officers this question: 12 x 14? In my haste and in my nervousness, I replied with (apparent) conviction: "It's 178, sir." Of course, he corrected me, saying: "That's wrong." I realized my mistake and revised my answer to 168. I had no technique in doing multiplication, something which he found out in the course of that part of the interview, and I fear that that might cause my downfall. Hee. Funny, but bad news all the same.

-------------------

Bad news: I'm leaving Ateneo.

Good news: I'm graduating.

Good news: I may have work in two weeks.

Good news: Ummm... everything else!

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Wonderfulness. Wondefulness. Wonderfulness.

Thanksgiving.

2005-03-13T18:03:00.000+08:00

Being grateful is an attitude that will always be in vogue. People always appreciate a healthy dose of "Thank you" or "This means much to me" every now and then. The Class 2005 Scholars and Benefactors Get-Together last night was one occasion wherein the virtue of gratitude could be, and was, expressed. Although I do not have any personal benefactor vouching for my scholarship here in the Ateneo, I still feel thankful that the Ateneo College Scholarship, and the Ateneo Freshman Merit Scholar Award, was awarded to me. Without it, I would not have been here, enjoying the wonderfulness of an Ateneo education.

A lot to be thankful for, really. Fr. Jet Villarin, the presider of the mass last night, enumerated three things: freedom, education, and life. And I wholly agree. I am thankful for being able to exercise my independence, something which studying in Manila away from my family provided me. The Ateneo education is a gift I also appreciate. I am proud of my Ateneo education. And I am happy to go into the world as an Atenean. Finally, I am grateful for the opportunity to share my life with the people I love. Without them, life would just have been a series of both fortunate and unfortunate events. With them, it ceases to become just a series, but a melody, a harmony of lives intertwined by both these fortunate and unfortunate events. A lot of things to be grateful for, really.

The occasion last night was one of thanksgiving, but it wasn't all that. It also gave recognition to those scholars who distinguished themselves by graduating with distinction. Clifford Lim, Robert Lizares, and Reinabelle Reyes are apparently the only three to graduate summa cum laude in our batch. And Patrick Echevarria is our Class 2005 Valedictorian. Wow! Congratulations, you guys! It was also the first time for me to hear that I'm graduating with honorable mention. It's official, then. Wonderfulness!

It was fun. There was laughter all around, and people were generally in a good mood. Not only that. I guess the hefty amount and the deliciousness of the food served during dinner helped a lot in building up the mood. I went back for a second serving myself. Such a blast! :)

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From whom much is given, much is expected.

Prayer for Generosity

Lord Jesus, teach me to be generous;
teach me to serve you as you deserve,
to give and not to count the cost,
to fight and not to heed the wounds,
to toil and not to seek for rest,
to labor and not to seek reward,
except that of knowing that I do your will.

Amen.

Future matters.

2005-03-10T00:02:00.000+08:00

It may seem too ambitious, but I want to clinch a job before leaving Manila on March 21. I want to make sure that I have concrete work to look forward to when I'm having my "last long vacation before retirement" in Davao. It agitates me to think that I may have to leave some kind of an unfinished business here. I want the job hunting to be done and over with. I want some peace of mind.

That said, I think this is quite unlikely. I cannot possibly fit the entire process of recruitment for all the companies I've applied to in a span of two weeks. For instance, UnionBank, which will be interviewing me this Friday, requires their applicants to undergo three interviews. If ever I pass the preliminary personality interview this Friday, I will then have to fit the next two interviews next week. That is clearly not possible because I have other exams to take (such as the PhilamLife exam tomorrow), other interviews to go to (such as the BPI interview on the 16th), and other things to prepare for (such as the graduation fitting, practice, and what-not). Clearly, I will have to sacrifice March 21 as my departure date in exchange for a bigger chance in landing a job before that "last long vacation." I don't think Papa will agree to that, though, so that's that.

I am the type of person who wants to have my plans for the future all written down and mapped out. (Peeking in my planner will reveal this.) Now, not having a job before going home is screwing up all my plans. It leaves too much of an ambiguity everywhere. For instance, although I already have a place to stay in Manila for the next three to four years or so, not having a job provides too much of a possibility of not being productive in that place for the first two months or so. And I don't want that. I want to be productive as soon as I come back from Davao. I just want to work, already, goddarnit!

All these insurance companies are not making it easier on me, either. Papa's right: "Ang hirap makahanap ng trabaho." I've called and re-called, searched through every nook and cranny of almost every relevant insurance website in the Philippines, and none of them-- not one-- has an opening for actuary or actuarial assistant. Man, I thought this job was in demand! I guess I'll have to try harder, though. It even has already occurred to me that I may have to forgo my actuarial ambitions and apply for one of the Management Training Programs these insurance companies have. It might provide me with the ticket needed to easily access the actuarial departments of the companies if ever the opportunity, i.e. vacancy, arises.

Oh God grant me a job!

Million Dollar Baby. Million Dollar Movie.

2005-03-06T13:22:00.000+08:00

[Long post ahead.]

Whenever I write ahead of my 5-movie review session, it can only mean two things: 1) the movie sucks big time (Let The Love Begin) or 2) the movie deserves more merit than what the 5-movie review session can give. Million Dollar Baby deserves much, MUCH more merit than what the five to six lines of my usual review can give. Right off the bat, I'm going to say this: Million Dollar Baby is a winner.

I had no intention of watching this film. On the surface, it had all the elements and characteristics of film which do not interest me: heavy drama, Clint Eastwood, and boxing. First, we begin with heavy drama. I've seen good heavy drama films, but these are rare. I'm quite a sentimental person, but there are only few films which I find extremely touching and profound. I then make it a rule not to watch such films unless there's no other viable movie option, or unless I've heard glowing reviews of it, not from critics, but from friends. Second, Clint Eastwood. I've heard of Clint Eastwood's magical directing hand in Mystic River and Unforgiven, but I haven't watched those films, given that the former is heavy drama, and the latter is an action film. Moreover, all movies which star Eastwood provide, at most, only mild entertainment. He's always been more of an action guy, and I've never really been an action type. Third, boxing. Rocky? No interest. Ali? No interest there, either. Karate Kid? OK, but that's not really boxing.

Why did I watch this film? Three reasons. 1) It's an OSCAR winner. 2) There was no other viable option. 3) Jel received glowing reviews of it from friends. Because of these three reasons, I was able to shelf out 70 bucks for the movie. I went inside the theater, not really expecting much, just hoping that it wouldn't be a total waste of my time.

The film was SPECTACULAR. It didn't have the glitz, glamour, and glare of The Aviator, but its subtle solemnity had its own unique sense of SPECTACULAR all the same, even more so. Subtle, because it never tried to tweak with our emotions the way Here on Earth or One Tree Hill episodes did. It presented the whole shebang from start to end without excuses, without pretenses. It was SPECTACULAR in its simplicity and boldness. It was SPECTACULAR in its honesty and courage.

The superb performances of the cast didn't hurt, either. Everyone deserved the praises and awards they got for this film. Morgan Freeman as the boxing has-been provided a quiet performance that settled in me comfortably. I felt calm everytime Morgan Freeman spoke. It kinda reminded me of the way he delivered in Shawshank Redemption. What I liked even more, though, was when Freeman and Eastwood were bantering on the screen. They had a friendly chemistry that really entertained me. Freeman was witty; so was Eastwood.

Speaking of Eastwood, I would never think the same way about him again. Beneath the hard, angular face, and beneath the weary lines that run through it, lay a highly emotional man. I've never seen pain so plainly and effectively expressed in an action star's face. Yeah, scratch that. I'll never think of him as just an action star ever again.

Finally, Hilary Swank. Two-time Oscar Best Actress winner, joining the ranks of an elite few. What can I say? This girl is no teenybopper flash-in-the-pan. I'm hands down amazed with Swank. First, a lesbian, now, a boxer. Needless to say, the roles she plays are not easy to get into. But she manages to do it. As Jel said, there's just something in her face that gets to you. I agree. She may not be the prettiest Hollywood chick around, but she's one of the best actresses around. And that's not something you can get from Botox.

An admission: I cried. From the last ten minutes of the film until Jel and I went out of the movie theater, I cried. And I kept on crying. It was embarrassing, really, but what the heck. I was-- I don't really know if this is the right way to describe it, but it's close-- shaken. The last time I cried that hard was when I watched What Dreams May Come, and that movie was shown in theaters, like, 5 years ago. I don't know if I've just become callous over time, but it's a testament to Million Dollar Baby's emotional prowess that I cried. Big time.

Go watch it. I won't force you, but please do. An article I've read reminded moviegoers to bring tissues, and I just scoffed at him, thinking, "What a sentimental sap." But it's true. Bring tissues. You're gonna need it.

Grade? A/A+. Critics? A-. Close.

Tired feet and wet shirt.

2005-03-04T22:43:00.000+08:00

SonyLife is not for me. Sigh. And I got my legs and feet all sore just to discover this maddening fact. So that's one insurance company down, and one left standing. PhilamLife, you better have an actuarial position open, or else... or else... or else I'll be jobless and I'll cry! As Papa told me awhile ago, "Ang hirap makahanap ng trabaho 'no?" Gee, thanks Pa. That really helped. Hee.

The problem: I asked the SonyLife HR representatives who went to our job fair if there were any actuarial positions open. She replied: "All departments have openings." Which I assumed, in my naive little mind, to mean "Yes." As it turns out, the company only has two departments: one that's involved with sales, and one that's involved with managing sales. The first department allows you to pursue a LifePlanner track, AKA Insurance Agent. The second department allows you to pursue an Agency Director track, AKA Insurance Agent Manager. I cannot apply for the second; I can only apply for the first.

It is unfortunate, though, that I have no plans of taking the actuarial exams to become an Insurance Agent. As I replied in the personal information form handed out earlier: "Are you interested in becoming a LifePlanner? Perhaps. Unfortunately, I do not think that being a LifePlanner is right for me. I am currently pursuing an actuarial track, and I believe that being a LifePlanner is quite different from being an actuary. Despite this, however, I believe in the nobility and discipline which characterize the LifePlanner profession, and hence I consider it as a highly redeemable career to those who wish to pursue it." It is a diplomatic response for a depressing question. I came there expecting a lot, and went out empty-handed. Well, not really empty-handed. I was given a Personal Information Sheet to fill out and a Project 100 Sheet to write the names of 100 "recommendable" people on. Sigh.

Not really empty-handed. Sore legs for walking too much in Makati, and a wet long-sleeved shirt for walking rapidly under the drizzling rain. That's what I got.

Sigh.

I did nothing today. Fantastic.

2005-03-03T22:49:00.000+08:00

In a few weeks' time, the proper response to such a comment will be: "As usual." "I did nothing today." "As usual." Hee. Fantastic.

I just received some not-so-fantastic news today, though. I got a D on my final exam in Financial Economics. A "D". If I recall correctly, the exam has a 30-percent bearing on my final grade, which, upon some calculation, will result to-- hmmm-- a B. Not bad? Bad. I feel kinda sad about the whole thing, knowing that I botched up my chance to get an A for the subject, and in the process botched up my chance for getting a 4.0 for this semester. Yes, it's quite a pipe dream, but pipe dreams never hurt anybody, right? They never hurt anybody, at least until the moment when those pipe dreams vanish into thin air.

Bah. Enough of that sad stuff. I'll get over it. But seriously, a D?!? What was I doing?!? Did I take the test blindfolded? Hee.

I have something to look forward to for tomorrow, and that's fantastic, given these taskless times. I will be taking SonyLife's pre-employment exam. SonyLife is one of the two insurance companies I applied in as an actuarial assistant. The other insurance company is PhilamLife, and I'll be taking their exam soon enough. But tomorrow, SonyLife. I've always liked the HR girl who inquired about my schedule (her name is Valerie); I think she's sweet and nice. It's a good omen for someone who's terribly terrified of interviews and other forms of formal social contact. If the HR's nice, then perhaps the interview will go well. I hope.

Tomorrow's exam will last 2 hours, so says Valerie. The first hour will be (I assume) the typical IQ exam. The next hour will be the CIP. I forget what CIP means, but it's a program to introduce the candidates to the world of insurance, specifically within the context of SonyLife. I'm actually looking forward to this second part, mainly because I have, as yet, no idea of how to become an actuary in the Philippines. Perhaps the program will shed light on my query.

This reminds me. I have to research about SonyLife in case any form of interviews arise. It's good to be prepared. Jeland told me to treat it as some kind of oral exam, which is why my heart's beating at an impossibly rapid rate and my tummy's doing nosedives. Oral exam, indeed.

(Seriously. A D?!?)

Amazing Race begins tomorrow.

2005-03-01T15:55:00.000+08:00

Yes! My favorite reality TV show is back tomorrow, 10 AM - 12 PM on Studio 23. I really thought I would not be able to watch the premiere because of a retreat I'm supposed to have, but because of some ignorance and stupidity, I was not able to go. So I guess my date with God is on hold, and my date with the new Amazing contestants is good to go!

My predictions on the first episode of the Amazing Race (as seen in my post on Television Without Pity):

First in Episode: Rob and Amber
Last in Episode: Ryan and Chuck
TAR7 Winners: Susan and Patrick

I have only one wish for this season: for it not to suck like last season! Last season sucked so hard with all the bunching, the casting of Jonathan and Victoria, and the uber-lame tasks. With that kind of suckitude, this might just be the best season yet!

Happy birthday, older bro!

2005-03-01T14:59:00.000+08:00

It's my Kuya's birthday today. It's his 25th, I think. Tanda na 'no?. I wish I could post a picture of him here, but I don't have any scanned pic. The only picture I have of him is in the family picture I carry around in my wallet. I need a digicam, Papa! Give me one!

I sincerely hope for my Kuya's happiness in life. He's been one hell of a great brother to me, and he deserves a breather. There were a lot of quarrels, of course, especially during the times I was still living in Davao, but none of those ever chipped the love I have for my Kuya. Ever since I could recall, he has always been there to take care of me. I remember seeing a photograph where he was behind my baby-walker (I don't know how else to describe that wooden thing), smiling wide at the camera while making sure that I didn't hurt myself in that awkward contraption. However, he also claims nowadays that it was his doing why I became "brilliant" (eherm). While I was still a baby, he says, he lifted me by the legs and bumped my head on the concrete floor. That shook a lot of the brain cells I've had, he explains, and that is why I'm who I am now. Well, thanks are in order, I guess.

My brother has always been the silent type. So am I, but his is a brooding silence. You tend to be wary by his quietude; you tend to be carefree with mine. Despite certain differences such as this one, though, we go along just fine. I love the things we do together. Before, in Zamboanga, we had our collections. He had his stamps, and X-Men cards, and rubber bands (yes, rubber bands); together, we had our Inquirer Trivia by Bong Barrameda. As we grew up, we became competitive with one another, at least academically. We grew up in an academic environment, where books were preferred over toys, and this became apparent in our competitions. We fought against each other in terms of points garnered while watching Battle of the Brains in RPN-9. After that wonderful show got cut off (and got replaced by the ugh LG Quiz Show), we fought against each other in quiz books Papa bought for us. My strength lay in Mathematics-- no surpise there. His strength lay in almost everywhere else-- History, Literature, Sports, and Philosophy most of all. Did he beat me? You bet he did. But I kicked his ass in more occasions than one, too.

When Kenneth came along, the fun doubled. Needless to say, the troubles doubled, as well. But Kuya managed to handle both of us with the gentle discipline only an eldest child can muster. If you ask both Kenneth and me what we think of our Kuya, we'll probably say the same thing: we love that brooding boy.

Kuya, thanks for everything, and I'm glad that you're here for all of us. Even if you did analyze me for your Psychology project without me knowing about the whole thing, we still love you. Happy birthday. :)

News, reviews.

2005-02-28T22:40:00.000+08:00

Some new stuff about my recent movie reviews. (Sounds so prominent, hee). First off, we all know what discrepancies my opinions have with that of the knowledgeable critics, so I'm including their precious marks with my humble ones. What I'll do is I'm going to tally my grade for the film, and beside it, I'm going to tally the grade given to it by critics (courtesy of Metacritic). And in this special edition, I'm going to include the Gutierrez-Locsin starrer Let the Love Begin even though I normally don't include Filipino films. (Don't ask me why I don't include Filipino films, what I'm going to say won't probably be nice.) Let the Love Begin gets special mention because 1) it's a hilarity that cannot be ignored; and 2) it brings my list of recent films to 5. Now, let's proceed!

(By the way, check out the old list of movie reviews. The changes mentioned have been applied there, as well.)

Kerwin - C+: Critics - F (I'm assuming this, of course.): Let the Love Begin. It's in one of my latest entries. Go read. :)

Kerwin - C+/B-: Critics - D: Elektra. I've read the reviews, and as I've said in one of my previous entries, Elektra isn't that bad. I don't even think it's bad at all. It's just... lacking, for lack of a better word. It would have been more engaging if it had better fights, and better endings for fights. I myself thought that the enemies were cool, what with their living tattoos, penetrating poison, super speed, and brutal strength. When Elektra did her stuff, though, they all came out as losers. The battles were too quick; the enemies' death were too easy and convenient. It's like the film-makers just got lazy and decided to get the whole fight scenes over with. Those scenes were the only things memorable in the film, don't they get that? The rest was pure drama bullshit. (Boredom was not a problem, though, so that's why I'm giving this a C+/B- instead of a C-.)

Kerwin - C+/B-: Critics - C-: Meet The Fockers. Once again, the original is better. The jokes have been rehashed relentlessly, and most of them fall flat. I think I have had enough of Ben Stiller's stupidity. In fact, I think I have had enough of Ben Stiller. Sigh. If not for the superb and hilarious performances by Dustin Hoffman and Barbara Streisand, as well as the subtle performances by Ben Stiller's wife and mother-in-law (I forget their names, I'm too tired to Google.), this movie would have been a C-. The critics and I would finally have something to agree on. Stuff to watch out for: Watch it for Hoffman and Streisand.

Kerwin - B: Critics - B+: The Aviator. The latest Scorsese-diCaprio movie proves to be better than the last one they collaborated on (Gangs of New York): this one didn't bore me. And as I always say, boredom is a sure way to get a C-/D/F in my reviews. I'm sorry to hear that Scorsese got edged out by Eastwood in the Best Director Oscar Award; it must be hard having all those nominations and getting none. The directing wasn't the thing that got me, though-- it was the performances. I thought Leonardo diCaprio has finally grown. His acting as the mentally-disturbed Howard Hughes was convincing, to say the least. Alec Baldwin played the Pan-Am mogul with an evil flair which I loved. And as usual, John C. Reilly played his part with perfection. The women were not to be left out, either. Kate Beckinsale exuded sexiness as the feisty Ava Gardner. And Cate Blanchett, an actress who I already love, I loved even more as the loud Katharine Hepburn. That twang really got me! How can an actress so flawlessly slip into a role, and a well-known character at that! Wow. I really think she deserved that Oscar she received (I haven't watched the films of the other Best Supporting Actress nominees, so I can't rightfully say.).

Kerwin - B+: Critics - C: Constantine. At first I had my reservations about this Keanu flick because, well, we all know what Keanu's acting's like. But I went on to watch it all the same because of Rachel Weiss who I think is divine. But as it turned out, Rachel Weiss is not the only thing divine in this movie. Keanu was perfect for the role, as I found out later on. Furthermore, the whole concept of devils and angels battling it out on our world, the fast pacing and movement of the plot, and the breathless yet dreary cinematography made this one of the best films I've watched since Kung Fu Hustle. That may not be saying much, considering the span of movies between Kung Fu Hustle and Constantine, but believe me when I say that it is saying much. Stuff to watch out for: Angel Gabriel, the cockroach monster, and the possessed Filipina.

That's it for now. Hope you enjoyed this week's edition of 5 movies!

A time span of half-a-day.

2005-02-28T21:14:00.001+08:00

The day started with me cramming my paper in financial math. I set the alarm last night to 8:30 AM so that I can have the luxury of working on the paper for 2 hours, but I was too doggone tired and there was really no real urgency to the requirement, so I slept through half my luxury time. I woke up at 9:30 AM, instead, and crammed the damned thing until 10:30. 10:30 was supposed to be my call time to report in front of Doc Mara, but then it was too late, and I haven't even frigging showered yet, so I threw the idea of being able to report early out the window.

I emerged out of the dormitory by 11:10. I met up with Joey in the Economics department, where our Financial Economics grades were being posted. Unfortunately for us, the list of grades wasn't there, or perhaps it was invisible. This was against our teacher's promise to post them as early as 8:30. (Not unless the list was indeed invisible.) There was nothing we can do, though, and since I still had a report to attend to, we decided to head out to the Math Department where a sober but smiling Doc Mara was waiting.

I reported on the immunization technique used by banks to offset the damage caused by small changes in interest rates. The technique does this by allocating the right amount of funds in the different assets to balance the different liabilities. Without this equilibrium, the bank (or any other financial enterprise for that matter) may incur losses. Fascinating topic, isn't it? This is what mathematicians and actuaries are paid for. All in all, I thought the report was good (as are any other reports which have been delayed consecutively and whose contents you're sure to memorize after the second delay).

After the report, Joey and I ate lunch at Ken Afford. I had my usual 85-peso chicken lollipops with 15-peso extra garlic rice; Joey had his 100-peso sisig with egg plus 30-peso Sprite in can (30 pesos for a softdrink? Goodness.). As expected, the lollipops were superb (and hot!).

We went back to the Economics Department at around 1:30 PM to check out the grades. Mark texted us while we were having lunch, saying that he just saw his grades, so we hurried back. We went there, though, only to find out that our frickin' teacher just took off the list we never even saw (perhaps it was indeed invisible, goodness, how unmagical of us) and even announced "No grades after 12." Nobody told us about that bit. I could have understood his policy by way of my ignorance, but we were there around 11, and the list wasn't there. He should have extended the "viewing"; it was only proper. And what were we supposed to do with the list? Chew it after having learned of our dismal final exam scores and even more devastating final marks? Needless to say, we went away disappointed.

Our next stop was to get our clearance sheets in the Registrar's Office in Bel. Joey had to go home around this time, so he was unable to get his clearance signed, but since I just lived right inside Ateneo and had nothing else to do, I went on and hunted the signatories needed in my clearance sheet. In the next two hours, if anybody bothered to check on their crystal balls, I would be seen waiting in line, waiting in line, and waiting in line. And, oh! Waiting in line. Seriously, though it was not all waiting in lines. There were also waiting in queues, waiting in vertical alignment of patient people, and waiting in organized single-person files. After all that waiting, I was finally able to complete my clearance.

And after all that reading, I am finally able to tell you that I am done! Yes! Pau hana, the day is done! College life as I know it is finally over! Do not worry about my pissed-off tone, it does not exist! I am happy! Wee! Happy! Wonderfulness, I think I'll pass out. :)

A nice article about Davao.

2005-02-25T16:05:00.000+08:00

Here.

Just like what I always say: No matter what those people outside Davao may think, we are a happy people in a happy place. Davao is hell for those who do wrong; it is paradise, otherwise.

Almost, but not quite.

2005-02-25T00:48:00.000+08:00

Almost done, just a little less than a week left. I have a finance paper to finish, a finance topic to finally, FINALLY report on, and an actuarial exam to take. I'm not taking these three seriously, however, so I might as well be done. A clear proof of my nonchalance is that I have finally returned to the Heroes of Might and Magic map I've started working on a few weeks' back, the one which involved me and my roommates on a quest to fight the evils of The World Beyond.

College is ending. It's inevitable. We're not even going into the home stretch, we are already in the home stretch. I just had my first job testing (Bank of the Philippine Islands) a week ago, and that's a clear sign as any that I have finally come to the clearing at the end of one path, and the start of another. The experience in Makati was enlightening to say the least. To see all these people wearing coats and long-sleeved shirts and shiny black leather shoes was one thing, but to actually see myself wearing them was another. I remarked to Joey as we sought the BPI office: "Malapit na tayong maging ganito." Numbingly exciting.

Another obvious sign of the impending end of college was the Ateneo Mathematical Society despedida party I attended awhile ago. The lowerclassmen prepared some videos and notebook dedications to the graduating batch, and while it didn't create much of an effect on me (not being active in AMS had its certain disadvantages), their efforts were commendable, nonetheless. Again, the whole event brought home to me the inevitability of graduation. Perhaps it was the first time since getting all worked up about graduation that I felt a certain pang of sadness with the idea of finally leaving Ateneo. And with good reason. Ateneo wasn't (isn't) just a university for me, I actually lived (live) here. It was (is) my home. As I've written in my dorm yearbook profile: "What makes a dormer a dormer? The Ateneo is your backyard."

In a few weeks, Ateneo will be my backyard no longer. Even as I anticipate the next wonderful home, Ateneo will always remain with me. Cheesy as this may sound, it has always been the case for every Atenean, whether they recognize it or not. It has always been the case, and always, ALWAYS, will be.

Saturday of no mercy.

2005-02-19T23:43:00.000+08:00

I'm supposed to be on a hiatus, at least until the finals are over, but I have to post about my "Saturday of no mercy" so badly that I'm willing to eat my words and stick a foot in my mouth just to do it. Beware, gross details to follow.

I vomited awhile ago. After enduring hours of dry-heaving and swallowing my saliva just to keep it down, the vomit still finally managed to see the light. I haven't vomited since high school, not even during that time when I got drunk during the dorm's annual junior drink-all-you-can party, so the experience was pretty disorienting, not to mention disgusting, for me.

The shift of events was so rapid that even I didn't quite catch how it all turned sour (pun intended). During the earlier parts of the afternoon, my spirits were high. I just received news that I was exempted from the final oral exam in theology. Even though it wasn't proper for him to tell me that after studying the thesis statements for 10 hours, sleeping for 4, and eating for 0, I couldn't really remain pissed at him after getting an exemption. I became pissed, though, during the latter parts of the afternoon, when my lack of sleep and nourishment finally caught up to me. The sticky humidity of the weather didn't help, either. Unsurprisingly, after a few moments, I was gripped by a headache. Surprisingly, the headache gave me the sharpest and most acute pain I have ever experienced in my life.

This headache, I believe, was the direct cause of the above-mentioned vomiting. My body didn't want the Tapa Joe I ordered from Tapa King (mainly because of its ughsome fat content), so I threw all 74 pesos of it in the trash can. Unfortunately, my body didn't want the Sweet Banana, either, and it was unfortunate indeed because the sweet bananas were already inside my body. Hence, the vomiting. The headache didn't abate easily even after I have already vomited. After rummaging the dorm for for Biogesic-- a medicine from the gods, if I may say so myself, the sharp pain became a dull one, and eventually, subsided. It was then I finally found the power and strength to blog.

One last week, and I'm getting sick. Not a good sign.

Definitely not a good sign.

I have to study, but...

2005-02-18T17:26:00.000+08:00

Just want everyone to know that I'll be taking a few days' break to study for my last finals' week, and consequently my last week of classes in college. When I come back, I'll be posting about Strunk and White's Elements of Style, the new Amazing Race 7, the movies Constantine, Meet the Fockers, and Elektra, as well as my thoughts on college and schooling in general.

Stay tuned. The hiatus begins now, but I will be back. :)

Awfully brilliant, or brilliantly awful?

2005-02-15T19:26:00.000+08:00

It's the latter. Let the Love Begin is one of the most brilliantly awful films I have ever seen in quite some time. There's only one reason (well, make it one and a half) why I watched the film, but even that reason could not make up for the film's two-dimensional characters, conventional plot, and atrocious acting. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Awful: Almost everything. First, the two-dimensional characters. Each major character involved in this film can be boxed into rigid personality types. Here's the kikay cheerleader who's so boba that she even has to vandalize school property with easily researchable questions such as: "What is Newton's Third Law of Motion?" Here's the cute, down-to-earth poor boy who's so awesome that he's able to work as a janitor in the morning + study his lessons at night + make his friends' assignments + compose a love letter for the token funny guy + take care of his lola + be a model for Bench shirts. Aside from these two characters, we have the ailing lola, the domineering dad, the token funny guy, the subplot friends who almost talk of nothing else but the main characters, and the mean girls.

Second, the conventional plot. Boy sees girl. Boy falls for girl. Girl ignores boy. Girl starts to see boy. Girl likes boy. Mean boy comes in. CONFLICT! Girl rejects mean boy. Girl loves boy. Boy loves girl. Boy and girl smooch. HAPPY ENDING!

There are, of course, various subplots. Subplot 1: Boy's friend has a tomboyish best friend. Tomboyish best friend falls for boy's friend. Boy's friend sees the lady inside the tomboyish best friend. Boy and girl smooch. HAPPY ENDING! Subplot 2: Dad scolds girl. Girl fights back. Dad slaps girl. Girl runs away. Dad has a heart attack! PLOT TWIST! Dad and girl smooch. (Kidding.)

Third, the atrocious acting. I like Richard Gutierrez and Angel Locsin in Mulawin, and I think they've carried themselves well in that series, so I don't understand what's with this atrocious acting? Every scene seems forced, every line lacks conviction. The only times their acting succeeds are when they're smiling their pa-cute smiles and wiggling their little asses.

Brilliantly awful: It's a film to be laughed at. We snickered at the most dramatic scenes, when the audience was at its most silent. We rolled our eyes at the funniest scenes, when the audience was at an uproar. If you wish to laugh at all the wrong reasons and keep silent at the right ones, then this is the film for you. Make sure you have another agenda in watching the film, though, because even though it's unintentionally funny, it might eventually get the best of you and you might emerge out of the theater fuming mad, eager to box the ears of those who stole your 80 pesos.

Wonderfulness.

2005-02-13T19:06:00.000+08:00

Gonzaga. Katipunan. Eastwood. Somethin' Fishy. MRT. Taft Avenue. Chow-King. Atrium Hotel. Jollibee. Mandarin Hotel. Kuh Ledesma. Christian Bautista. Rachel Ann Go. Jollibee. LRT. MRT. Megamall. Let The Love Begin.

Fitting of toga. Milo Freeze. Red herrings. Hipon in Aligue Sauce. Sizzling Boneless Bangus. Price formulation. Taxi driver from the nearer parts of hell. Walk. Camp Crame. Dobermans. Walk. Long line. Have a prepaid MRT Card in Taft! Wrong jeep. Scary MMDA people. Ving Card. Bath tub. Hot shower. Cable TV. Air-con. Dressing up. Balcony. Candlelit set. Costume changes. Christian's intrigue. Christian's emergency. You Don't Bring Me Flowers Anymore. Streisand, LeGrande, Groban. 5-star hotel. Cool receptionists. Jeep back. A Very Brady Sequel. Mall. Richard Gutierrez. Angel Locsin. Scary Gloria Romero. MRT. Internet cafe.

Laughter. Happiness. Joy.

Wonderfulness.

Before I head to lead the Rational Treasure Hunt...

2005-02-12T10:07:00.000+08:00

...a few words: Wee! Wee! Wee!

Hell day over. Heaven begins!

2005-02-11T15:24:00.000+08:00

So much for my hell day yesterday. The definition of "hell" is up for grabs, though, as it was more of a cold I'm-too-tired-I'd-rather-sleep hell rather than a flaming OH-MY-GOD-I'M-GOING-CRAZY kind of hell. But then again, a frozen hell is no better than a blazing one.

In theology, my teacher subtly smacked our report... as he should have done. I admit, it was not the best report. One of my groupmates kept on narrating the experiences we had in Zambales (come to think of it, I haven't told you guys that I went on a 3-day immersion with the Aetas in Zambales-- a way too cool experience)--

[*EEEK! Let the Love Begin just played in the background!*]

OK. As I was saying, one of my groupmates kept on going on her narration, which I think took up much of our time, and was pretty much what the teacher didn't WANT to hear. Sure, the experiences may be quirky and fun, but this was a report! The rest of the report wasn't that creative and engaging, either, and I think we lost focus on the essentials for the most part, so I think I deserve the low grade that I would probably get. *Sigh.* During these times I miss my Philo 102 group. In fairness to my current group, though, I think the paper was well-done (special kudos to Monique, who I think is brilliant); it was just the presentation that sucked.

In financial math, nothing much happened. I didn't attempt to recite as Doc Mara was drilling everyone who dared to answer the seemingly "easy" assignment questions. Never be deceived! You never know what a math veteran like Doc Mara can come up with. For most of the period, then, I studied for my political science exam. Which, as it turned out, was pretty easy.

My teacher in Pol.Sci. has got to be the most careless teacher I have ever met. As Lady, Mark, Maita, Alec, Dea and I waited for him to arrive, we realized that he has left the set of test papers from the previous class on the table. Just one peek and we would have the entire exam imprinted in our memories. Good students as we were (HEE), we stayed away from the path of easy A's. We really didn't need to succumb to such temptation, though, because, as I have already mentioned, the test was pretty easy. There were a few infuriating numbers which I got wrong, but that was it. Lady, Alec and I even had a bet that whoever would emerge out of the classroom last would treat the others to some delicious AMPC Satellite Station arroz caldo. Alec, who was last, still owe Lady and me some of that yummy stuff.

Well, that's it for my hell day. Frozen or blazing, I'm still alive. Tomorrow, heaven begins!

Let the love begin! (Sorry, can't help it.)

Freddy and Kendra won the Amazing Race. OK.

2005-02-09T23:48:00.000+08:00

It's been a really busy day, and I'm expecting a busier one tomorrow. I have a Theology paper and reporting due tomorrow, as well as a long assignment in Financial Mathematics, as well as a long test in Political Science. I've only done the paper, haven't prepared for the reporting, haven't solved the math assignment, and haven't studied for the long test. And yes, I'm blogging. It's easier to ease the stress this way.

After tomorrow, though, will be Friday, and after Friday will be Saturday! And Saturday is the day to be happy! HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY! (clicks heels and claps hands)

Yeah, Freddy and Kendra won. I got spoilered, which means someone told me who the winners were before I even saw the finale, which, during some other season would have blown my top off, but since this is the suckiest season ever and the worst set of teams casted (except an exceptional few), I was able to keep my calm. Meh.

Rob and Amber of the Survivor fame are going to race for the million in the next season of the Amazing Race, which, fortunately, begins 3 weeks from now. Ugh. Don't they have enough money already? Are they starving? Enough already. I hope they get kicked out on the first episode. I may change my mind, of course, but that's my opinion as of now. But I feel they may be in the Top 3. But what do I know?

Let the love begin.

2005-02-09T15:07:00.000+08:00

Before anything else, I'd like to greet Jeland and Joseph on their birthdays. Great guys deserve long lives. Wee!

I just watched Elektra last Monday. The movie wasn't as bad as the critics made it seem, and, despite the glaring flaws, I wasn't bored by the movie. Entertainment, of course, is of primary importance. I'd take Elektra over In The Bedroom or Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind anytime. I'm shallow that way. But enough of Elektra. That's not the movie I want to discuss right now. The movie I want to talk about, the one I almost watched instead of Elektra (which pretty much means I didn't get to watch it) is Let the Love Begin by GMA Productions.

Last February 7 was the premiere of Let the Love Begin starring Richard Gutierrez, Angel Locsin, Mark Herras, and Jennielyn. Jel and I didn't quite notice it at first, but as soon as we saw the mob gawking their necks off, we realized that we were in the presence of some "stars." And that there was a premiere going on. I knew that there were two Filipino Valentine's Day movies, Dreamboy (by ABS-CBN) and Let the Love Begin, and I knew it was going to be one of them. As I found out which it was-- it became pretty obvious as soon we saw the gigantic posters-- the jologs side of me kicked into gear. I immediately pursuaded Jel to purchase tickets for the film. He didn't like to, at first saying it jokingly, but when he saw that I was serious, he said that I was impossible. I didn't back off that easily, though, and it took some logical persuasion for me to understand that I could not possibly afford a premiere ticket. We watched Elektra then.

We weren't able to enter the movie theater right away. The SM Management has barricaded the entire length of the entrance to the six cinemas up to the escalator, and the entire barricade was flocked by fanatics. There was no apparent way to get around it... and I wasn't really feeling rushed at that time. Hee. Jologs that I am, I wanted to see the stars of the movie. Jel would hear none of it. I only managed to see the side view of Mark Herras, and that was about it. We were able to get around the barricade eventually, and while we walked its entire length, we had the urge to act arrogantly and wave at the gawking fans. Maybe we could have fooled some of them, who knows?

After Elektra, I asked Jel to accompany me to the "red carpet." There was no red carpet, though, just an aisle created by fans. I calculated that around the time Elektra finished, Let the Love Begin would have finished as well. We waited among the fans. I was waiting expectantly; Jeland was whimpering exhaustedly. I told him to wait a few minutes more (it was nearing his birthday by this time). When 40 minutes passed and no sign of the stars were present, we decided to leave. I kept wondering what I would have done if I had seen them. Would I have asked for an autograph? Would I have shouted their names? Jeez, talk about being crazy!

You might be wondering what in hell am I doing with a GMA movie production. Nope, I have not switched sides. It's just that ABS-CBN's Valentine special featured Piolo Pascual, and you all know how I feel about freaking Piolo Pascual. And to add to that, I find Mulawin and the Mulawin stars more engaging than Krystala and the Krystala stars. I'm only human, and Judy Ann and Piolo are Judy Ann and Piolo. So that's that.

Ummm... so that's that. Hee.

Iba magmahal ang kapamilya.

2005-02-07T02:13:00.000+08:00

ABS-CBN decided to change their slogan from "ang lakas mo sa amin" to "iba magmahal ang kapamilya" as part of their First Quarter Storm revamp of shows. I agree with the change. Both slogans had the same thing to say, how the audience is important to them, but each had a different way of saying it. The first was direct but blunt. It addressed the audience directly, but the words seemed to connote a certain sense of "bribery." "Ang lakas mo sa amin" sounds like the audience was asking favors from ABS-CBN, and that is certainly not the case. If anyone's asking favors, it's ABS-CBN. The second slogan, on the other hand, the one I prefer, is indirect yet personal. Indirect, since it does not address the audience right away, and in fact addresses the station itself. However, there is a personal tone to it that would appeal to the people's heartstrings. "Mahal" always wins the Filipino.

Anyway, here are the Top 25 Programs of 2004 based on the AGB Survey Group.

[The image was too large, I'll resize it first.]

Super Size me no more.

2005-02-07T01:44:00.000+08:00

My roommates and I just watched Super Size Me, that huge and controversial documentary showing the changes in the lifestyle and diet of a man whose experiment involved eating only McDonald's food for 30 days. McDonald's food, take note, and nothing more. As he himself says, "If it isn't served at McDonald's, then I can't eat it."

This experiment was primarily motivated by a lawsuit filed by two, perhaps obese, teenagers against McDonald's with the claim that it has been responsible for their dietary and health problems. The judge dismissed the case, citing that the teenagers failed to show that it was indeed the Golden Arches which was the cause for their problems.

The "hero" in the documentary decided to prove just that.

I won't say much about the details of the film, but it will suffice to say that it's enlightening as much as it is entertaining. Here are some random information taken from the film:

1. Unlike our McDonald's here in the Philippines, McDonald's in the United States have the option of a Super Size Value Meal. This consists of half-a-pound of fries (almost 5 times the size of our Go Big Time fries), and a LOT of Coke.
2. The chicken used to create McNuggets came from old chickens who couldn't lay eggs any longer. A poster in one of the scenes of the movie had a chicken's picture on it with some words written above ("Can you find the nugget in this chicken?") and below ("Neither can we.").
3. They serve salads (similar to KFC's Asian and Caesar offers) in the US McDonald's.
4. A calorie is the amount of heat needed to raise the temperature of water by 1 degree Celsius. (I knew that.)
5. After the film won First Prize in the Sundance Film Festival, McDonald's pulled out the Super Size option from their meals. They also advocated a fitness program for adults. McDonald's claimed that their recent moves had nothing to do with the success of the film whatsoever. Nothing. Who would have thunk it, right?

The "hero" of the film gained 30 pounds in 30 days, got depressed more often, craved for food more and more and encountered headaches when he couldn't have it, had a fatty liver, increased his risk of getting a stroke by as much as 200%, and claimed to have a "worthless" sex life.

The next time I'm eating at McDo, I'm skipping on the fries.

Five questions that need to be answered before I leave Katipunan.

2005-02-05T22:50:00.000+08:00

1. Why are there internet cafe shops that cater to Koreans?
2. Why is there no footbridge to help Miriamites and Ateneans cross the street?
3. Why did Kamirori increase the price of their Spare Ribs, within just a span of few months, by as much as 90%?
4. Why do shops erected between Yellow Cab and World Topps close immediately?
5. Why did Red Panda close?

Think it over.

Is this luck or what?

2005-02-05T22:14:00.000+08:00

I don't know, but it seems like Lady Luck is by my side these past few days. The most obvious sign of this being the Actuarial test I took awhile ago.

First, a brief background.

Yesterday, I went to Greenhills to get the recopies of my graduation picture. The traffic getting there was horrible, and the time I spent looking for the place from the taxi was next to eternity. I found it eventually, but inside Child's Play (the studio who catered to our graduation picture needs), I was met by a bitchy little lady. Well, she wasn't really that bitchy, but she was certainly a high-caliber taray queen. Needless to say, she fueled my irritation more.

I went out of there to walk a daunting distance to Level 3-C, Shoppesville Arcade, in Greenhills. I had some business to attend to there, see, and I was under the impression that I had to hurry lest Level 3-C might close. So I arrived in Shoppesville, panting and sweating, only to find out that I had no freaking idea where Level 3-C was. After three misdirections and a lot of guard-asking, I finally found the place. By then I was so worked up that I could hardly breathe.

After the business was done, I went to Robinson's Galleria to relax. Suddenly, although my feet were telling me to relax, my mind was telling me to walk some more and explore the place. Conflict, I tell you. I walked. And walked. And walked. Yes, my mind can become stubborn sometimes.

I finally went home after. I knew I had an Actuarial exam to study for, but I was sooo tired that I just plopped my heavy body on the bed. It was already 6 PM then. I slept for a few hours, waking up at 9 PM to meet Joey at Mocha Blends where he had been diligently studying. Upon arriving there and consulting with Joey, I realized how much little I knew about the test the day after. I immediately told myself that I was gonna get a low score. The subject was obviously an Achilles heel of mine. Despite Joey's brilliant efforts at teaching me (brilliant, because I learned a lot from that guy), I knew that it was of little hope. That pessimism deepened further when Joey was fetched by his father and brother. Who was to help me? Will I survive? (Hee.)

Joey's father drove me back to the dorm. After going up to my room, I surfed the internet a bit. After which, I plopped my body again on the bed, telling myself not to fall asleep, as not only did I have an exam the day after, I also had a reflection paper to pass. The exam was not yet quite studied for (and I had difficulty understanding it), and the reflection paper had not yet been done. It was going to be a major, MAJOR error to sleep at that point.

I slept.

And woke up at 8:30 AM, 30 minutes before the exam.

I hurriedly took a shower and dressed myself. I typed a nonsensical, bullshitty paper on Treasury and Risk, had it printed, and while walking towards class, read a little on the things I missed on studying. I fervently hoped that the teacher wasn't there yet so I could ask some tips from my classmates.

The teacher wasn't there, but his proxy was. And the exam had already started.

I immediately took the paper, and realized, to my utter horror, that I did not know how to solve for numbers 1 and 3. PANIC! I calmed myself, going through that process I call being psychologically ready (This deserves a separate post.), and looked at the paper again.

This is where Lady Luck entered the picture. (That was quite a background, sorry. Hee.)

The test was easy. I was stuck at numbers 1 and 3, and there were a lot of formulas I forgot, but nothing that couldn't be solved by a little geometric and arithmetic manipulation and an elementary knowledge of series(to those who care, the exam was on annuities). And after sometime, I remembered some of the stuff that Joey told me ("Go back to the basics."), so I was able to answer 1 and 3, as well. When I gave my exam to the proctor, Joey and I compared answers, and voila! Exacto. If Joey got a perfect score on that exam, I might have gotten the same!

I was darn lucky this time. The teacher could have made that test a lot harder than it was. I should know. I almost failed his last exam, which was supposedly the "foundational" application of what we discussed for this exam. Whew! Talk about Lady Luck!

One must not have so much fun!

2005-02-03T22:32:00.000+08:00

I've been blabbering a lot about how I want to get out of college as soon as possible, how excited I am about the prospect of work, how goddamn tingling my nerves are with the idea of moving out of the dorm and living in another wonderful place. I've also been blogging a lot about how I want to hurry things up, how this semester has had me counting days 'til graduation, and how the days just pass by me like water through wide-spread fingers. It's been said before and I'm going to say it again: time does fly when you're having fun.

It just struck me awhile ago, though, as I was tutoring someone for his math long test, that perhaps I'm having too much fun. "Perhaps I've been lax about my academics?" I thought. Not really. Even though I've been quite the laid-back guy this semester, I've managed to do things on time, and do things well. Of course, the stress that accompanied each cram session got into my nerves, but the stress was less powerful, and the annoyance was, well, less annoying.

So being lax about academics is not really the issue. The issue at hand was that I seem to be forgetting a lot of things lately. It was only awhile ago, during that said tutorial, that I remembered that I had five academic activities to attend to for the next five days. It was not that I didn't know remember each of them individually (I had each activity listed on my planner), but it had a different sort of effect to remember them as a group. It sort of... sort of froze me. So it was then that I questioned my "having fun." Hee. I should step back a bit from all this giddiness and try to focus on what's right in front of me.

So what's right in front of me?

1. Philosophy long test #3 to be passed during class time tomorrow. Question: Was Descartes successful in proving the existence of God?

2. Actuarial long test #3 on Saturday.

3. Financial economics long test #2 on Wednesday.

4. Theology immersion report and paper on Thursday.

5. Political science long test #3 on Thursday.

Ah, yes. Wonderfulness. I have a long test due tomorrow, and what exactly am I doing right now? Blogging. Yep, I'm still having fun.

Let's see what tomorrow brings. Yebah!

It's my party and I can cry if I want to.

2005-02-02T13:37:00.000+08:00

It's February! Wonderfulness. Despite (or perhaps it's due to) the fact that this is the last lap of my senior year (not to mention my college life), and the final hurdles are just ahead-- reports, exams, orals, finals-- nothing can faze me from appreciating the wonderfulness that February is.

What is there left to do anyhow? Well, aside from a few academic requirements, not much. In fact, it can be safely said that I'm just waiting for college to be over. I'm just waiting for the toga fitting, just waiting for the release of final grades (even though the finals are still two weeks away-- hee), just waiting for that first job interview call. By the end of wonderful February, I expect a lot of these things taking place. One can hope, of course.

But the end of February is not the only thing worth looking forward to. There's Valentine's Day, for sure. That part of the year where gifts shower from the heavens and flower shops get richer by as much as 500%. Ahhh, the sweetness of companionship, the beauty of friendship, the joy of family. Ahhh, love.

The beginning of February is also quite a blast! I know of some people who are getting pretty excited about their birthdays... I wonder who they are. Hee.

Anyway, I gotta take off now. I have a projector to borrow, some happy foods to buy for a certain grumpy someone, and some very important people to call. It's all good, guys! Welcome to wonderful February!

Half of your life: a silly argument.

2005-01-31T13:19:00.000+08:00

We've all heard this statement at one point in our lives: "You just missed one half of your life." Or a slight variation may be: "You just lost one half of your life." This statement is usually uttered when you failed to experience something of great worth, and some obnoxious guy who managed to experience that great something found out that you failed to experience that great something. The statement follows soon after, of course.

Now, my friend Jel and I had a little argument about the precise meaning of this statement. The story begins like this. I was blabbering about something that I heard (I forget what it is-- but of course it was of great worth) and when I found out that he failed to hear it, obnoxious that I am, I told him: "You just missed one half of your life." To which he commented: "Negative na ang buhay ko kaka-one half of your life na yan." It was then that I found myself thinking of what missing one half of my life really entailed. After a few moments, I said to him:

"Nah, you're wrong. Every time someone tells you that you just missed one half of your life, you must multiply each 1/2, not add them. For instance," I continued, trying to make a very important point, "you still have your life whole. I say to you: 'You just missed one half of your life.' Then what remains of your life is 1/2. Now if another person tells you that you just missed another half, then you subtract 1/2 of your remaining life, which, by simple algebra, is 1/4 of your original life. So what remains of your life is 1/4, not 0, as your argument of adding two 1/2's and subtracting them from your original life would yield. If another person suggests the same thing, then you subtract 1/2 of 1/4 which is 1/8. In your calculation, that would yield a negative 1/2 life, which is just absurd, but you believe to be true anyway. That's wrong, I think. It's just the concept of half-life, really." I felt proud about my arguments. It sounded logical, for once.

At which point, Jel told me: "No, that is not right. You are assuming that people who tell you that statement are aware of your remaining life. But whenever they tell you that statement, they don't mean your remaining life: they mean your original life. So when they say that 'You just missed one half of your life,' what they're referring to is the totality of your life, not just that which remains. Hence, for every utterance of that damn statement, I lose 1/2 of my original life. Every time. So it will eventually yield to a negative life."

Jel got me. Again. I always lose out on all sorts of arguments. But anyhow, to protect my deflated pride, I argued some more, still convinced that I'm fighting for the right reasons. The light of nature (as Descartes would put it) dawned on me, though, and I realized that he was right. Again. So I conceded.

I must be a negative entity right now. Stop saying I've lost one half of my life! I'm the undead now!

A short post before the net goes kaput.

2005-01-30T02:17:00.000+08:00

Just watched 2 ABS-CBN shows awhile ago. The first was Search for a Star in a Million. So far, so good. I like the hosts' rapport with one another. Christian, Mark, Erik and Sarah all have the charisma to pull off and host a show like this. Meanwhile, the resident judges-- Agot Isidro, Rowell Santiago, and some other dude-- seem to have the musical credentials necessary to make them reliable as judges. The first eliminations begin next week. Let's see how this show compares with Pinoy Pop Superstar.

The second show I've watched was the Star Circle National Teen Quest Grand Questor's Night (Star Quest, according to Maricel Soriano). Erich, that pretty girl from the land where I grew up (Davao, for those not in the know), won. Good for her. She looks a lot like Angel Locsin, only better. Hee. I hear rumors that they're going to pair her with Hero Angeles now that Sandara Park's leaving for Korea to "pursue her studies." I think this is a good idea. Hero and Erich will look fantastic together, I think.

(Personally, I was rooting for DM. I wasn't able to follow this year's batch of Star Circle Questors, so I didn't know that compared to Erich or Paw, DM and the rest of the guys were just mediocre. I just thought that DM had an innocent look that was unique to him. Oh well.)

A theory about roads and paths.

2005-01-28T13:28:00.000+08:00

The theory: I have this idea that the Ateneo administration is trying to eliminate all paths either inadvertently or intentionally created by Ateneans. To those who don't understand what in hell am I talking about, let me elaborate.

What is a path?

Well, let me first begin with what a path is NOT. A path is NOT a road. It is not a fixed structure created with a fixed purpose and destination in mind. For instance, the way from the Gonzaga Caf to SEC is a cemented road. It was created and cemented for precisely that purpose: to have a way from the Caf to SEC. On the other hand, consider the way from the Chem Building to CTC. There exists a cemented way (a road), but beside that road lie two earth-based paths. One path leads to CTC through a space between two columns, and the other directly leads to SOM. These paths are not fixed. They are pregnant with potentiality. Of course, the argument may be raised that these are just roads without cement, but that is precisely my point. Neither their ways or their purpose have been dictated and established by cement.

What the Ateneo administration tries to do is to eliminate all these paths. How? My theory is that their action is two-fold. One, and by virtue of my argument above, by placing cement on the earth-base paths. It has been done before. Look at the Chem Building-CTC road I have mentioned earlier. Years ago, while the CTC was only in the process of construction, that road was only 2 square stepping-stones in width. When CTC was finally constructed, and people began to deviate from the road, they cemented another 3 square stepping-stones' worth of road width. Just to make sure that the Ateneans step on the road, and not create their own paths. Unfortunately, with those two dirt paths lurking beside the road, their efforts don't seem to have succeeded all that much.

The second way by which they eliminate paths is by barricading them. Take the example of the extended CTC (or Faura, whichever way to see it) road leading to the overpass near National Bookstore. Instead of allowing people to take the hypotenuse to reach the foot of the overpass, the admiministration decided to barricade this option so that people may be forced to take their Luneta-like road (complete with lampposts along the way). Unfortunately for the administration again, I have sighted a path in the making behind the trees near the barricade, so the efforts, once more, don't seem to have succeeded all that much.

There are more examples to prove my theory. The road to the Gabay Org room was just a path before, as well as the road to DSWS. The Caf-SEC road was laden with square stepping-stones with gaps between them; now, the gaps are gone and what remains is one intact road. Path-to-road occurrences are dime a dozen; one just needs to search them.

I don't really know why the administration is pushing for this mass eradication of paths. Perhaps they think that paths are ugly? Or they consider them a defiance of their structured ways? I do not assume to know their mindsets. But whatever efforts they may place to eradicate these paths, the sad fact must be faced: they are utterly failing in their endeavor. Ateneans like making paths. I suggest that they leave them be.

Job hunting is like shopping.

2005-01-25T17:51:00.000+08:00

Shopping and job hunting. What's the difference?

Stalls and salesladies. Stalls and HR representatives. Salesladies to entice you to buy their product. HR representatives to entice you to enter their companies. Both waiting for a prospect to pass by. Both anticipating the next excited victim. Hawrrr...

Nevertheless, Joey and I, as well as a thousand more graduating seniors in Ateneo, are willing victims. Not only willing, but excited willing victims. (Hmmm... I guess not all of us are that excited, after all.) For two days now, we have been typing resumes, retyping, printing, going to UP to photocopy our graduation pictures, going to Bel to get our transcript of records, pasting, gluing, stapling everything, and finally preparing ourselves to enter the Great Arena of SEC. Where the lions await for their gladiator victims. Hawrrr...

Roman Colosseum shows and job hunting. What's the difference?

I'm not making enough sense right now, but let it suffice to say that I am thoroughly enjoying this. I'm a little disappointed, though, with the lack of actuarial opportunities. So far, I've been stuck with a management training program, a financial analyst post, and other vague positions besides. I don't even know if I'll take these seriously. (I probably will.) I'm waiting for Thursday and Friday. On Thursday, SonyLife will be present, and on Friday, Philamlife will be present. These are the only two insurance companies included in our Placement Office's line-up for the Job Fair. Disappointing, really, but the whole experience of going from booth to booth (stall to stall, den to den) and asking the HR representatives (salesladies, lions) about opportunities available for Math Majors (shoppers, gladiators) is truly exhilarating.

I'm looking forward for tomorrow. Wonderfulness.

Just a little note: Jeez, I've really overdone my analogies this time, haven't I?

A for A Very Good Movie.

2005-01-22T22:55:00.000+08:00

If you look under the silver screen heading on the right side of my blog, you will find my last five English movies seen. (This "feature" is a revival of what I used to do before the first revamp of my other blog.) Since I sorely missed grading movies, here's my own critique of those five movies.
[Updated to include critics' marks.]

Kerwin - D/C-: Critics - C+: Ocean's Twelve. Meh. The original is way, way, WAY better than this sequel. It's like they just decided to create a sequel because the original (which was just, in fact, a remake) was a hit. Perhaps they thought it soared in the tills the first time because of the cast? Well, they're wrong. Despite-- or inspite of-- the cast, no one did anything in this movie. It was a total waste of actors' fees. (In fairness, though, there was a very nice sequence involving Julia Roberts. But you probably should just wait for it on video.)

Kerwin - C/C+: Critics - C-: Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason. Again, another instance of the original having more spunk than the sequel. Aside from a few outstanding sequences, this movie was just another run-of-the-mill feel-good love story. In short, it's just really a so-so film. If you're feeling so-so, you probably should watch this. Perhaps. Maybe.

Kerwin - B: Critics - D: Blade: Trinity. A good action film, but I really don't know if the first two Blade films were better than this one, having failed to watch those two. That said, this installment of the Blade series is better than more than half of the Marvel comic-book-character adaptations out there (Daredevil and The Incredible Hulk, for example). I especially liked the casting of Jessica Biel and Ryan Reynolds in this film: Biel brought the attitude, Reynolds brought the funny. However, I thought the new characters were not well-developed, though, and action scenes fell a little short. There was also that one particular sequence which bothered me: What was that initial chase between Blade and The Ancient One for? Aside from being filler?

Kerwin - B+: Critics - D: National Treasure. If you watch a film to enjoy it, not to analyze it, then you will definitely get a blast from watching this movie. Of course, it's reminiscent of the now very famous Dan Brown stories (Da Vinci Code and Angels and Demons), but assuredly, it does not have the same plot. I really don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. One thing's good, for sure: The treasure DOES NOT lie in your heart. I've always hated treasure hunts in films and books which end up saying, "The treasure lies within you." UGH. Good thing this movie stays away from that shitty ending. Another good thing: Nicholas Cage is good. I normally don't like Nicholas Cage, but it seems that he is most pleasant playing characters which are laid-back and witty, which in this film he most assuredly is.

Kerwin - A/A+: Critics - A/A+ (I'm assuming here. The film hasn't reached American market yet.): Kung Fu Hustle. Great, great film. From the story to the progression of the story to the relevance of the story to the subtleties in plot to the foreshadowing in every corner to the comedy to the "love story" to the drama to the action to the cinematography to the location to the actors to the characters they play to the magical powers they possess to the one heap of a great ending, this movie rules. I won't say more lest I spoil everyone else. JUST WATCH IT. I beg of you: WATCH IT.

Kapamilya, ang lakas mo sa amin.

2005-01-22T21:46:00.000+08:00

I've been a Kapamilya ever since I was born, and I've always wanted to see ABS-CBN triumph over their rival GMA. News have arrived, though, that GMA shows garner way higher ratings than their ABS-CBN counterparts-- that is, if the AGB Surveys are to be believed. However, despite the gap between the two rival networks, the ACNielsen Survey shows a more competent ABS-CBN. I don't know which TV survey group to believe in, but either way, ABS-CBN has a long way to go before it can dislodge GMA from the Number 1 spot. It's nice to know, then, that the executives of the Kapamilya Channel have stopped clucking like retarded chickens (cancelling a show here, adding a show there) and decided to take an aggressive stance by completely revamping the entire ABS-CBN line-up with its 1st Quarter Storm new shows. The shows are:

[Taken from the ABS-CBN Forums.]

1. ABS-CBN Comedy Originals
2. Ang Panday
3. ASAP '05
4. A.S.T.I.G
5. Ava Naman!
6. Bora
7. Dear Sharon
8. ETK
9. Sandara's Romance Presents Farewell Firefly
10. Gatekeepers
11. Goin' Bulilits
12. Home Boy
13. I-bol TV
14. Kamao
15. Kaya Mo Ba To?
16. Mirada
17. Mission Odyssey
18. M.R.S.
19. My First...
20. Nginiiig! Season 5
21. Pilipinas Game KNB?
22. Quizon Avenue
23. Reach Out (Might be name of Vilma Santos' Talk Show)
24. Rubi
25. Sabado Kapamilya Nites
26. Save Your Last Dance For Me
27. Search for The Star in a Million
28. Star Dance
29. Till Death Do Us Part
30. Tonight at the Manzanos
31. The Willie Revillame Show
32. Vietnam Rose
33. Wowowee
34. Y Speak Now!

I'm hoping that these new shows would slowly eliminate the tough competition on the other side. Don't worry, Kapamilyas, this station will be Number 1 in no time.

It's the actuary profession for me, baby!

2005-01-21T22:48:00.000+08:00

Finally, I find time to blog about this. Hee. All these posts but no post about passing the exam? Well, here it is: I PASSED THE FIRST OF SEVERAL ACTUARIAL EXAMS. I didn't write about this right away, because I wanted to write about it in the way most representative of what I felt during the day I found out about the results.

Eyes: Passing Candidate Numbers: 11038.
Heartbeat: DUG DUG DUG DUG DUG DUG DUG DUG DUG DUGGGGGG!!!!!!
Brain: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!
Mouth: I passed! [grins]
Brain: YOU PASSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Heartbeat: DUGGG!!! DUGGG!!! DUGGG!!! DUGGG!!! DUGGG!!!
Mouth: I passed!! [grins wider]
Brain: Maybe there's an error.
Heartbeat: DUGGG!!!! [stops]
Mouth: [wide O]
Eyes: Passing Candidate Numbers: 11038.
Eyes: Passing Candidate Numbers: 11038.
Eyes: Passing Candidate Numbers: 11038.
Brain: OH MY GOD YOU DID PASS! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!
Mouth: I PASSED!!! [a wider grin, if that was even possible]

My non-sem break was worth it. The endless computations were worth it. The McDo breakfasts, lunches, and dinners were worth it.

I'd like to thank everyone for supporting me during those times. Those times were also the toughest on me, not only academically, but also mentally, emotionally, and psychologically. Jel, thanks for being there despite... everything. You really managed to snag this one for me. Without you on my side, I would have lost this battle. Well, this victory's for you, and don'tcha know it! (Dinners, movies, and appliances to follow. Hee.) Joey, my comrade-in-war, you know how important this test was for us. You also know that you were a big part of this victory. We did it, man! We deserve this! Thank you for e-very-thing! Tsikee and Jamie, the emotional burden was overwhelming; you were my safety nets. Thanks for saving me. Every gesture made this victory possible. Thanks again. Thanks are also in order for my roommates, for making that sembreak an easier one to bear; for my dorm berks, for always believing in my ability to pass; and for my blockmates, for sympathizing with me: math can really be difficult. THANKS! THANKS! THANKS!

I feel exhilarated once again. Perhaps I should opt to take the next test this May? Hee. ACTUARY, here I come!

Human baggage vs. emotional vampires.

2005-01-21T22:21:00.000+08:00

Lesson for the day: The correct usage of the terms "human baggage" and "emotional vampires." Never interchange the two!

Joey has a term for people who used to occupy your past but now you don't even need (or in extreme cases, recognize): "human baggage." People say that the term makes it sound as though they were once extremely useful, but now are useful no longer. Others might even say that "human baggage" suggests that these people were objectified or boxed into their functionality. Well, I don't think that that's what Joey meant. In fact, I believe that it is to the contrary. People who are "human baggage" are people whom you used to think had decent qualities in them. In fact, these people are those whom you considered once upon a time as "friends," those whom you treated subjectively. Unfortunately for you, these people managed to destroy the friendship in a single blow: either they managed to misunderstand you, or they managed to fuck up an aspect of your life, or they managed to create a fool out of you. Hence, you decide to ignore them, or get rid of them, or just think that they never even existed in your life. Once you succeed in doing this, then you have just gotten rid of your "human baggage." "Good riddance," as most of us would say.

I find myself relating this to a similar type of people: the "emotional vampires." Thankfully, I stopped myself short of equating "human baggage" with "emotional vampires." For me, emotional vampires have teeth. They suck the living joy out of your life. Either by boring you to death, or by creating a non-negligible mess, or by acquiring what you are rightfully entitled to, the means do not matter; what matters is that they have managed to take something away from you. Human baggage, on the other hand, have no teeth. They just lie there as a dead weight. They don't really affect you. Descartes would disagree, but for me, they are non-entities. Or if they are entities, they are desperate, laughable entities. Of course, they once managed to do something that disrupted your life. Coming back or bouncing back from the damage they have caused is easy, though, and treating them as the non-entities that they really are is easier still.

In fact, I think "human baggage" is too kind a word. "Non-human garbage" is more like it. Note that I used "non-human" instead of "inhuman." Inhuman people have teeth, similar to emotional vampires; non-human garbages have no worth whatsoever. Equating "non-human garbages" to "emotional vampires" will be an insult to the latter, and hence must be stopped in its usage immediately.

That is my lesson for the day.

Amazing Race 6 is back in the ballgame.

2005-01-20T19:57:00.000+08:00

After a satisfying Jonathan and Victoria elimination, The Amazing Race is now back in the ballgame. No more wife-abuser! No more stupid wife! My favorite reality show of all time has been handed back to me after it was raped by those two fucking famewhores. But now, they are gone! Hallelujah!

That's not the only thing nice about this episode, though. For once after so many episodes, there is no unnecessary bunching! Yes, there was one at the beginning of the leg, but that was okay. It didn't negate anything because nothing important happened before it. And aside from that, the tasks did not suck! The Detour, which was a choice between carrying a roof from one place to the other (with the help of locals) and slapping mud on a wall, was just dandy. Of course, I don't understand why the teams chose to go for the longer and arm-tiring mud-slapping, but I guess the heavy roof was more arm-tiring still. The Roadblock was also enjoyable to watch. The team members had to enter the local Church to receive a pendant. After which, they had to match this pendant with those worn by worshippers outside. Sweet!

Even the normally annoying racers did not annoy me as much. Kendra, with her usual elitist comments, managed to realize that not all Third World countries suck. Adam looked pathetically cute trying to convince Rebecca that he loved her. Hayden did not whine as much. Aaron was funny, as usual, and the "nice" team, Kris and Jon, were looking their best, as usual.

All in all, this has got to be the best Amazing Race 6 episode ever. And Jonathan and Victoria got the boot! YAHOO!

7-11: A Happy Place.

2005-01-18T23:12:00.000+08:00

I went off to McDo last night to study for my Pol. Sci. exam awhile ago. I thought I was going to be by my lonesome there (which is fine by me, since I study better alone-- unless it's a difficult math subject, of course, in which the presence of my blockmates will surely ease... the... PAIN). To my surprise, though, Wamar and Dennis were there, and apparently, Sam and Topher were there, as well! A few moments later, Toj and Maita arrived, making me think that the universe was conspiring to get us together at that place. Hilarity ensued, of course. Whenever Math Majors would gather, hilarity would always, always ensue. The yang side of it, though, was that I was unable to accomplish my goal of going to McDo in the first place: to study. But anyway, it was a good night, and I was with happy company.

Somewhere between sipping Toj's sundae and debating between the number of sides of the old 2-peso coin (Can anybody tell me if it had 8 or 10 sides? Please?), I was suddenly contemplating on my happy places. As to how I came across this line of thinking, the reason was immediately evident: hunger. First, it was just hunger, then specific hunger: I was craving for 7-11's hotdogs. 7-11, you see, is one of my happy places.

I really feel that 7-11 is Katipunan's final gift for me before I graduate. The place just ab-so-lute-ly ROCKS! From the clean white tiles, to the organized shelves, to the things inside the shelves, the place just makes me smile with glee (OK, that was an exaggeration, but close enough). I especially love their 25-peso siopao and their 20-peso hotdog. The Slurpee is an addictive delight. Plus 24-hour breakfast meals. And you know what the best thing is? They're open for 24 hours! Good news for us dormers who miss Red Panda (I still miss Red Panda's 99-peso meal. Sniff.).

There are other happy places, such as Mocha Blends and my future boarding house in Makati (WEE! GRADUATION! WORK!), but they are happy places for entirely different reasons. 7-11 provides me with the respite I need during these stressful times (WHAT STRESS???). If I'm not feeling too good about a homework, or if my dinnertime passed me by, I am confident that there's place out there, waiting for me, calling me out, telling me: "Chill out. Have a hotdog."

I hope 7-11's breed and populate.

Detour: Slow Things Down or Rush Things Up.

2005-01-17T19:18:00.000+08:00

A Detour is a choice between two tasks, each with its own pros and cons. In this detour, I will have to choose between two attitudes regarding my future: Slow Things Down, or Rush Things Up.

In Slow Things Down: I have to take a break from all the rush, and reflect on what I have done these past four years in college. I can reminisce and look back at events past. I must also stop and smell the roses: that is, I must cherish each day that I remain in college. This Detour is fun, but graduation will seem so long, and the future, more often than not, will be out of one's mind.

In Rush Things Up: I must take each day in stride. I must think not of the past, but of the future. I can count the days 'til graduation, and reflect on how fast time flies. I must not do anything to impede the rush of days. This Detour is not-so-fun and uneventful, but the graduation will come quickly, and the future will be all that one can think of.

It must be evident which Detour I'll choose. Hee. YIPPEE! Graduation is near! College is almost over! WEE!

The 1 AM post.

2005-01-17T19:15:00.000+08:00

[This post should have been posted awhile ago at 1 AM. Unfortunately, the net here in the dorm got cut off before then. Damn. Anyway, here it is.]

1 AM of Monday, and I've spent my entire Sunday sleeping and writing in my blog. Nothing academic whatsoever. What's the use, anyway. It's two months to graduation, I'm a senior, I can bum now. It's an inherent right-- which I won't be using today.

You see, I have this Philosophy report later today. I've been blabbering about Sartre in one of my entries below, and that's who I'm going to report on in class. I have to prepare 10 minutes' worth of oral presentation tomorrow regarding his essay: Existentialism and Human Emotions. I have created the slides already (with a little bit of stressful prompting), along with the hand-out to go with it, so what I have to do is just make myself a rough outline of what I'm going to say tomorrow. The slides won't be enough; I made them as stripped down of detail as possible.

This task isn't really making me nervous as it would have if this was given last year or even last semester. Nothing really makes me nervous now. I think that's a good thing. Que sera sera. But this doesn't mean I will be lax about my studies. Well, okay, I am being lax, but what I mean is I won't be throwing my last semester away. I'm still the academically-conscious Kerwin. I'm still aiming for that With Honors title. I'm just doing it, this time around, with a pen in one hand, and a cocktail on the other.

1 AM. Tick tock, tick tock.

The cast of "Spirits" and their powers.

2005-01-16T22:12:00.000+08:00

Spirits, ABS-CBN's new horror-novela, is Chito Rono's newest masterpiece. It is seen to be a long extended prequel to his smash hit Spirit Warriors. Well, I won't be writing about this show in detail, but I'll just be putting in the cast and their powers, of which Jel is interested in.

[Taken from the ABS-CBN site highlighted above.]

John Wayne Sace plays Lloyd, who can see the dead as clearly as the living. It Might Be You's Maja Salvador is Gabby, the school's classic overachiever whose sunny ways ensure she is liked by everyone she meets. Rayver Cruz is Red, the
group's de facto leader, and the first of the teens to consider banding together
to figure out why there are so many "gifted" kids in town.

Bata, Bata's Serena Dalrymple plays Liz, a mind-reader who eventually realizes that "curse" for reading other people's thoughts is really a gift. And La Vida Rosa's Jiro Manio is Nato, the descendant of a long line of healers who now struggles with his gift of speaking with duwendes.

Mico Aytona plays Thor, the easy-go-lucky class clown who joins the Camera Club for his own not-quite-honest reasons.

And finally, two of Star Circle Quest's young stars come into their own as Michelle Madrigal and Joseph Bitangcol take on the roles of Maya and Jesse, respectively. Maya is an empath, a psychic who can sense, understand and absorb another person's emotions even if that other person is not in the same room as she is. A more dangerous power lies within resident rebel Jesse, who finds out he can start fires with just his mind.

An accomplished cast of veteran and up-and-coming stars complete the Spirits team. The veteran cast is composed of Ricky Davao, Liza Lorena, Lotlot de Leon, Marjorie Barretto, Cris Villanueva, Lito Pimentel, Jhong Hilario, Miguel Vera, Ilonah Jean and
Sandy Andolong. Maoui David, Allyson Lualhati, Glaiza de Castro, Nica Peralejo, Helga Krapf, Blair Arellano and Sergio Garcia make up the junior members of the cast.

Just a side note: Jiro Manio used to be this endearing kid (I remember him quite well in Bagong Buwan), but now that he's grown and sports an earring, I don't find him that adorable anymore. What's with the oily face, man?

Also: Yay for SCQ's Joseph and Michelle. More power to you guys.

My take on The Amazing Race 6.

2005-01-16T19:53:00.000+08:00

I've been in blogging hiatus for so long that I have failed to write about my favorite reality TV show of all time: The Amazing Race. I missed analyzing the racers, missed praising the Detours and Roadblocks, missed capturing my hate and love on virtual text. Now, to start things off, let me just say this: I do not like this season.

It was off to a promising start. Although there were no immediate favorites (like Reichen and Chip or Colin and Christie), there were those who appealed to me, albeit to a lesser extent. For one, there were Kris and Jon: the designated nice team. I am not a fan of very nice racers with huge fan bases (Ken and Gerard - meh, the Clowns - meh meh, Chip and Kim - ugh to infinity), but Kris and Jon were not annoying, were competent, and were nice. Competence always get to me over anything else (see: Colin and Christie). After all, this is a RACE, right? Aside from Kris and Jon, there were Hayden and Aaron, Lena and Kristy, and Gus and Hera. Cool guys overall.

There was also that wonderful addition of the Roadblock rule. Only 6 Roadblocks per person per team. If this had been implemented during Season 3 of The Amazing Race, Flo and Zach would never have won. They would have been out on the 7th episode. If this had been implemented during Season 5, Brandon and Nicole and Chip and Kim wouldn't even have stepped on the Top 3. (You might say Colin and Christie would never have been on the Top 3, but I have never doubted Christie's skills even for a moment. I'm biased, of course.) Aside from the fact that this rule balances out the work, it also calls out for some good strategizing, race-wise.

It was all downhill from there. The casting, for one, has casted one of the most annoying, most exhausting, and at the same time most boring racers ever: that asshole Jonathan. It is not fun to look at him, unlike certain villains (see: Guidos, Colin). He can't even be considered a villain. He hasn't done anything to disrupt other teams' progress, only their own. By pushing his freaking wife around. And that isn't being villainous, that's being stupid. Plain and simple.

That's only the beginning of it. Every week, Jonathan and Victoria's team subjects me to never-ending boring torture. I don't know how such an oxymoron can exist, but it does, and it is maddening. I have little sympathy for Victoria, too. Divorce him, strangle him, sic your dog on him, just do something, for Chrissakes! Ugh. Not even Kris and Jon's happy and healthy relationship can counteract this team's negativity.

And that's not the only negativity around here. As the weeks go by, I get more and more annoyed with Kendra's kaartehan, Adam's childishness, Rebecca's condescendingness towards Adam, and Hayden's screechiness. If that won't make you lose your love towards this Race, I guess the next complaint will.

Race-wise, the bunching has become ridiculously excessive. And what the fuck was that double leg for? The second part of the leg, with all that bunching, just nullified the first part of the leg. All that trouble for nothing. What happens is that good racers are left unrewarded; there is little or no movement at all among ranks; and Victoria and Jonathan are still in the race. And the tasks! How much less boring can they get? I have nothing against food tasks (Season 5 had tons of them); my beef lies with those riding tasks: go-karting, zip-lining, traincart-riding. Woo! Exciting! BLEH.

I don't know how this Season can get any better now that it is in this state, but perhaps a very satisfying Jonathan and Victoria elimination (a la Colin's breakdown in Manila, only with the elimination thrown in) or better yet, disqualification, will be a good way to start redemption.

As for now, though, this season sucks.

It is a cold, cold day.

2005-01-16T13:46:00.000+08:00

Just like it was a cold, cold night last night. And the other night. And the other. I don't know what's up with the weather. Christmas season is already over, so I don't really get this cold. Manila weather can sometimes be so freaky.

Anyway, here I am, huddled inside my blanket, facing my computer, just finished checking out my e-mail and the sites I frequently visit. I found some interesting news to keep me warm (in both joy and irritation) despite the freeze:

1. Sandara was named as one of the People of the Year last year. Well, it was her year. I vividly recall getting annoyed at her during her stay in Star Circle Quest, but after SCQ, I found myself endeared to her. Finally, I got the charm. Now, for a little not-so-secret: I thoroughly enjoyed Sandara and Hero's love team in Star Cinema's Bcuz of You that I watched it in the cinemas not once, but twice! Wonderfulness. I plan to buy the VCD as soon as it gets out.

2. Estrada comes back to the Philippines, vowing to lead people to a 'new dawn.' Ugh. I have written about this at least one time in my blog last summer, and still the sentiment remains: Ugh. I don't know what's happening to the Sandiganbayan nowadays, but I think Erap has been pampered enough. If this was Indonesia or Malaysia (not that I'm comparing), no ousted and convicted president will be able to go abroad for any reason whatsoever, much less get out of "prison." Estrada's defense team is just pulling strings and fucking around with the Sandigan's heads. No wonder one of the justices there resigned. (Which was rejected by the SC, by the way.) Show no mercy! Let guilty heads roll!

3. Metacritic releases its Best of 2004! Yep, this is definitely good news for list-lovers and movie-goers out there. Both of which, incidentally, apply to me. The critics from all different sorts of American publication have released their official Top 10 Best Movies of 2004, and Metacritic compiled them all into a single list. Now, Jel and I have a theory that if critics love it, then we won't, what with snorefests like In the Bedroom and The Hours. (One critic accused me of being a bad-movie-lover by liking The Butterfly Effect, one of my favorite films of all time.) Surprisingly, critics and we have something in common as well. Included in the top 10 are: The Incredibles, Hero, Spider-man 2, and House of Flying Daggers (this last only appeals to me because of its "aesthetics").

4. Heroes V: Fans left in the dark. Indeed. Rumors have it that the announcement of the game is to be this January, but fans such as I have difficulty becoming patient. It's almost been two years since the last installation of Heroes IV (the blech Winds of War), so it's not surprising that fans would be wanting at least some word from the makers, Ubisoft. I'm not much of a game person to know everything there is to know, but from what I've gathered from Celestial Heavens, Ubisoft is keeping a hush-hush policy, at least until the announcement goes out. Come on, guys! It's almost two years. Heroes IV is not my favorite Heroes installation (Heroes II remains on the throne), so a Heroes V installation will be a welcome change.

Living the title of my blog.

2005-01-15T01:05:00.000+08:00

Okay, now that I cannot change the blog title (the damn title is split into two parts, so any efforts in Photoshopping the thing will lead to a major headache), I might as well live the title. Perspectives: This is How I View My Life. With mirror effects. Yay.

I really do not wish this blog to be a very "thoughtful" blog. Okay, lest people think that I'm being intellectually lazy, let's all step back and see that the operative word is "very." Yes, every now and then I'll let an insight or two (aherm, perspectives) get into my blog, but then that's the start and end of it. The last blog had been too focused on the construction of insights that it lost some (if not most) of its spontaneity. Besides, those who really know me know that I'm really quite an insightful guy. Hee. Way to raise my own bench, there.

But despite all these disclaimers, nothing beats the old adage: "I'll just be myself." Seems like a blatant contradiction of what I've said above, because what if being myself is actually being perspective, but I've taken Jean Paul Sartre's philosophy this semester and he's all for absolute freedom and yet at the same time he says that we are in despair because there are things beyond our control so how can we really have absolute hold over our lives if there are things we cannot control?

As to what that has to do in defense of my contradiction, I have no idea. But you can't do anything about it! Wee!

Damn, I missed writing.

At long last, QED.

2005-01-14T19:52:00.000+08:00

I have sat down for 6 hours now, first in the internet room in CTC, and now at this internet cafe across KFC. Finally, my blog is done. Or the basics of it anyway. And you know what? Even if my fingers are now all suffering from typing too much, even if my body's freezing from the ice-cold aircon temperatures, and even if my system's yearning for much-needed food, I am happy. For now I can write again. Welcome everyone, but most important of all, welcome back Kerwin.

That was one hell of a season ender.

2005-01-14T19:50:00.000+08:00

[Republished to mark the birth of this new blog.]

If my life were a TV series, then my last entry was one hell of a season finale. Half of the audience might be contented with "Awww, so that's that, then?" while the other half might be debating over themselves, "What the fuck happened?", "Who will get kicked out next season?", "Who will remain?", "Is there a next season?".

Well. There is a new season, and I'm pretty much still in it. (Of course I'm typing this, but... bah!) I'm back on my feet, you guys, so better hang on tight.

Welcome to a new season, and welcome to the season premiere.