Half of your life: a silly argument.

We've all heard this statement at one point in our lives: "You just missed one half of your life." Or a slight variation may be: "You just lost one half of your life." This statement is usually uttered when you failed to experience something of great worth, and some obnoxious guy who managed to experience that great something found out that you failed to experience that great something. The statement follows soon after, of course.

Now, my friend Jel and I had a little argument about the precise meaning of this statement. The story begins like this. I was blabbering about something that I heard (I forget what it is-- but of course it was of great worth) and when I found out that he failed to hear it, obnoxious that I am, I told him: "You just missed one half of your life." To which he commented: "Negative na ang buhay ko kaka-one half of your life na yan." It was then that I found myself thinking of what missing one half of my life really entailed. After a few moments, I said to him:

"Nah, you're wrong. Every time someone tells you that you just missed one half of your life, you must multiply each 1/2, not add them. For instance," I continued, trying to make a very important point, "you still have your life whole. I say to you: 'You just missed one half of your life.' Then what remains of your life is 1/2. Now if another person tells you that you just missed another half, then you subtract 1/2 of your remaining life, which, by simple algebra, is 1/4 of your original life. So what remains of your life is 1/4, not 0, as your argument of adding two 1/2's and subtracting them from your original life would yield. If another person suggests the same thing, then you subtract 1/2 of 1/4 which is 1/8. In your calculation, that would yield a negative 1/2 life, which is just absurd, but you believe to be true anyway. That's wrong, I think. It's just the concept of half-life, really." I felt proud about my arguments. It sounded logical, for once.

At which point, Jel told me: "No, that is not right. You are assuming that people who tell you that statement are aware of your remaining life. But whenever they tell you that statement, they don't mean your remaining life: they mean your original life. So when they say that 'You just missed one half of your life,' what they're referring to is the totality of your life, not just that which remains. Hence, for every utterance of that damn statement, I lose 1/2 of my original life. Every time. So it will eventually yield to a negative life."

Jel got me. Again. I always lose out on all sorts of arguments. But anyhow, to protect my deflated pride, I argued some more, still convinced that I'm fighting for the right reasons. The light of nature (as Descartes would put it) dawned on me, though, and I realized that he was right. Again. So I conceded.

I must be a negative entity right now. Stop saying I've lost one half of my life! I'm the undead now!