Nervous about work and new sickness.

It's been going on for some time now: I'm agitated about my first days of work. It's like going to college, only that, instead of being more excited than anxious, I'm actually more anxious than excited. What if I screw up? What if I fail to carry out a simple instruction? What if I don't get along with the other trainees? I know I'm being unnecessarily and unhealthily worried, but I can't help myself. This is all new to me.

Kinda like this strange growth on my right arm. I think it's a cockroach bite, but I'm not sure. At first there was a hard, tiny mound-- a reddish swelling. Touching it revealed the fact that it was sensitive. A little poking in the immediate area would immediately bring me to my knees in pain (okay, it's not that bad). A few days ago, though, the tip of the reddish swelling turned into a blackish/purplish swelling. And it seems to be expanding throughout the tiny mound. Now I begin to worry. I have had cockroach bites before, but I have never experienced this blackening. It reminds me, quite terrifyingly, of gangrene infections. Ugh. I am getting sick a few days before work. First the sty, and now that's over, this.

Whatever am I to do?

Breakfast.

When it comes to "important" life functions, I find sleep the most important. It is then no surprise to anyone to find me skipping dinner because I'm already feeling sleepy, or skipping breakfast because I'm still feeling sleepy. What I did this morning, then, would come as definitely a suprise.

I ate breakfast.

But that's not the end of it. I didn't eat breakfast in the boarding house. I didn't just wake up, went down to the kitchen, and ate. What I did required more effort than that. I woke up at 9 AM (that's very early for me), took a bath, found some clothes to wear, went out, then rode a jeep... to catch the breakfast meals of Jollibee in Makati Avenue. I don't know what came over me, but whatever force it was, it was decisive enough to make me move my lazy ass. Perhaps hunger beat sleepiness this time?

Anyway, I had a wonderful time eating. I planned on eating corned beef + egg + pancakes + coffee, but Jollibee's stock of pancakes and corned beef ran out (and I thought I was early!). So I decided to go for the burger steak + egg + iced tea meal. Since McDonald's was just two feet away from Jollibee (competition, bah), I went there afterwards to feed my craving for pancakes. I drank my coffee there, as well.

All in all, the meals were delicious. I never thought breakfast would taste so good. I don't know if I'll be able to do this again in the near future, but with my work coming up next Wednesday, June 1st, I might be eating breakfast each and every day.

Chats on an idle Sunday.

I woke up at 5:30 AM today, then went back to sleep, woke up at 9:30, saw Jel leave for Laguna, slept again, woke up again at 12 to play on my computer, slept again at 1, then woke up at 4 to take my bath. Then I went out to surf the Net. My days have been like this for weeks now. Sigh... I'm nervous about work, but it must be better than having to find something to do each and every time!

Anyway, I have something to do now, so I'm not listless any more. What is it that took away my listlessness, you might ask? Well, I'm engaged in 3 different chats with my dear friends. One chat is on my chatbox here in the blog, the other is in my e-mail, and the last is in YM.

I'm chatting with Justine in the chatbox about the sty in my eye. Apparently, she has experience with them, as well. It appears that it may or may not be a sty. It can also be a chalazion. According to this site, chalazion is

a generally painless, slowly enlarging nodule on the eyelid formed by inflammation of the meibomian glands (deep chalazion) or Zeis sebaceous glands (superficial chalazion). Chalazia are often chronic, without the acute inflammation observed in a hordeolum. A hordeolum usually is painful, involves glands of the eyelid pilosebaceous unit, and is infected with staphylococci, streptococci, or other skin flora. They may be more prominent in the conjunctiva (internal) or external portion of the tarsus.

On the other hand, according to this site, a sty is an

acute infection or inflammation of the secretory glands of the eyelids.

I know it's too technical, but at least I know something about it. Justine also gave me some prescribed drugs for the disease (?), and some advice about surgery. Thanks, Jus, I really appreciate it. Beee happeee!!! :)

I'm also chatting with Tristan through e-mail. Twister's in New York right now, enjoying the sights and the NBA play-offs. I can't really relate to anything about basketball in particular and sports in general, so I'm just glad he's happy about the whole thing! Hee. Tristan has been my roommate in the dorm for 3 years, and a really good friend. I'ts great to be corresponding with him. For one, he's given me a lot of insight about the great American culture-- from the technological wonders of HDTV and TIVO, to the psychological reasons behind American teens' preference of The OC over One Tree Hill (I love One Tree Hill; I find The OC bland and boring.). Thanks, Tris, and beee happeee!!!

Finally, I'm chatting with Jacques on YM. This boy has matured in the span of 2 years that I've known him. Not only that, but I might even go far as to say that he's matured beyond his years. When I was his age, I was still making my cartoonish drawings and making my silly games, still convincingly feigning innocence about the wonder that is love, and still establishing what I really want in life. But it seems Jacques has already experienced and done all that. I'm not sure if I'm envious of him, maturing this early, but what I'm sure of is that he is a strangely determined guy-- he knows what he wants. I give him props for that, as long as he remembers that not everything revolves on THAT ONE THING-- his education, for instance, is a very important aspect of his life right now, especially with the entrance exams for the colleges nearing. Jacques, I wish you luck in everything, and I wish you happiness. I guess this applies to you more than to anyone else: Beee happeee!!!

Sty in my eye.

I have a growing sty in my eye. It has been bothering me these past few days, since not only does it affect me physiologically, it's also affecting me psychologically. You know, aesthetics and all that. My good friend Toj mentioned that she has the same problem, although in her case it occurs more frequently: she has them at least twice every year. I asked her what she does with the sty, to which she recommended a simple yet effective way of removing it: warm compress. Just place the compress on the affected eye, wait for the pus to come out, and presto! No more sty!

Unfortunately, it hasn't been that effective for me. I forgot to ask how long and how hot the warm compress should be, so maybe I'm not doing something right. Yes, I've tried it, and I'm pretty sure that the swelling on my eye has not gone down. If I look at it at a certain angle I'm pretty sure that the bump looks a little bit more depressed, but then again, I might be just fooling myself.

Sigh. I don't like this sty. If anyone has anything to say about any remedies not involving herbalists, eating vegetables, or cockroaches, please let me know.

Reality.

TV, I mean. Reality TV.

Uchenna and Joyce won! Wonderfulness. Although the ending wasn't merit-based (Rob and Amber were already in another country, for God's sake, and were almost on the next one, but then KILLER BUNCHING and DIVINE INTERVENTION paved the way for a Uchenna and Joyce win), it was alright to me. Uchenna and Joyce didn't seem like Chip and Kim anyway, whom I absolutely loathed for Yielding Colin and Christie. Hee. Still resenting that particular win.

On other reality news, American Idol! Yes, I've had the chance to watch the last two episodes, and am now familiar with the remaining contestants. Here's my ranking based on the two songs they sang yesterday:

COUNTRY: Anthony (great vocals on the ballad he sang); Carrie (Carrie = country, of course she'd do well); Bo (boring song, but great singing); Vonzell (just hideous).

CITY: Bo (I felt it, dawg!); Anthony (he must be scared shitless of the prospect of being in the bottom 2 again); Vonzell (liked her rendition of that upbeat song); Carrie (she and Anthony sang the same song, but she sucked at it, for some reason not-so-apparent to me as yet).

This is Reality TV month, I think. Many series are ending this time, perhaps preparing for a new sweep of shows this coming June, here as well as in the States. I hear The Amazing Race is having its Family Edition sometime soon, and the Season 1 DVD is coming up this June. At last! DVD!

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In unrelated news, I'd like to thank Sam for the wonderful blow-out she gave us! Happy birthday, and may all your days be happy!

Leithold dies at age 80.

The first time I got acquainted with Leithold's Calculus 7th edition book was during my 4th year in Pisay. I never got to use it often then. Mrs. Egasan, my feisty calculus teacher, always brought sheets and sheets of manila paper to show us, summarizing eveything that Leithold had to say in the book. Besides, we didn't want to bring the 100-ton book everyday in class.

I realized in college how important that 100-ton book was. Mrs. Egasan was, and from what I hear, remains as, the most fascinating teacher a person can have in high school, but not even she can reduce Leithold's teachings to a finite number of manila paper sheets. In college, I discovered the wealth of mathematical information that book contained. I didn't use the book only for the four semesters that I had calculus; I used it until the very end of my college education. The content of that book encompassed almost every possible mathematical subject known to mankind that it was impossible not to refer to it every now and then. That's how amazing it was.

It is unfortunate, then, to hear this news. Louis Leithold died at the age of 80. I never thought I would be disturbed by such incident, but I am. I feel a great loss has taken place. Calculus would never be the same without him.

Here is the news, taken from news.yahoo.com.

LOS ANGELES - Louis Leithold, who wrote one of the most widely used calculus textbooks and helped change the way the subject is taught, has died. He was 80.

Leithold was found dead April 29 at his Los Angeles home by the parent of a worried student. The coroner's office said he died of natural causes.

Leithold wrote "The Calculus," which became a standard text and was credited with changing the way the subject is studied. The book, first published in 1968, is widely used in high schools and universities and is in its seventh printing.

He was 72 when he declined to retire and instead launched a calculus program at Malibu High School after being approached by a teacher.

"He inspired you to do mathematics. His face would just light up," said student Matthew Mesher, 17.

Among the many educators he influenced was Jaime Escalante, whose success teaching calculus to poor, largely minority students in East Los Angeles was chronicled in the 1988 film "Stand and Deliver."

"I called him my adviser," Escalante said Saturday. "He was one of the great mathematicians. His book had beautiful problems. It made us believe that anybody could do calculus."

Leithold held a doctorate in math and taught at numerous schools during his long career, including California State University at Los Angeles, the University of Southern California, Pepperdine University and the Open University of Great Britain.

Happy Mother's Day...

...to the person who mentored me during my young younger youngest years, never failing in her drive to make sure that I do my assignments, never wavering in her desire to make sure that I take all her handwritten sample exams;

...to the person who calls me "abnormal" each chance she gets, but does so in the most affectionate way possible;

...to the person who does not even think twice at laughing at my corny jokes, at my slapstick comedy, and at my psychotic panggigigil;

...to the person who understands and just laughs off my indignation at her obsession with curtains, cross-stitch, and general cleaning;

...to the person who never hesitates in making me leche flan, chicken and pork adobo, sinigang, and other recipes involving shrimps and crabs, knowing fully well that I love them to bits;

...to the person who always threatened not to cook any more food than what was on the table (whether I like it or not), but always, at the last minute, cooked something else;

...to the person who has given a touch of femininity (and therefore class) to an otherwise testosterone-laden family;

...to the person who fuses our family together;

...to the person who has always been proud of who I am and what I've accomplished in life;

...to the person who's always been on my side;

...to the person who gave birth to me;

...to the person who cares for me;

...to the person who loves me.

Happy Mother's Day, Mama. I love you, too. :)

A little bit of everything.

Just received my NBI clearance. Papa mentioned an affidavit which came along with it, one that (I'm not sure) stated that I was not (or I was, I'm not really sure) the person that had that particular restriction order, but didn't send it. Since I had the clearance already, it was irrelevant whether I signed the affidavit or not. Nevertheless, I plan to clear my name with the DOST as soon as I find the energy to do it.

My NBI clearance clearly had a NO CRIMINAL RECORD typed into it, so that's good. There's also a NOT FOR TRAVEL ABROAD stamped onto it, and that's also good. That was what I expected. My NBI problem is solved, then, at least for the meantime.

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Watched Kingdom of Heaven with Jel yesterday. I didn't take it as a sign of a revival in my movie career, though, as it took more discussion and debate than life on other planets or the recent discovery of a flaw in Andrew Wiles's proof of Fermat's last theorem.

And, of course, that was a perfect segue to insert a commentary on the flaw found by one UP professor in Andrew Wiles's proof of Fermat's last theorem. The e-mail sent to me by one of my friends had the disclaimer that the story could have been fabricated, but I wouldn't be surprised if it wasn't. I don't understand a single thing about the proof Wiles gave, but it seemed too complicated for my tastes. Those who know about the ages-old problem might recall Fermat writing on the margins of a book these words: "I have discovered a truly remarkable proof which this margin is too small to contain." The proof Wiles gave used results from a study made by two Japanese men, and this just came very recently! If, indeed, Fermat was telling the truth that he had proof, then it must be much simpler than Wiles's proof. Granted again, of course, that Fermat was telling the truth.

Mathematics can never be so much more fascinating! :)

DOST and NBI.

My suspicions were correct. Remember that entry I wrote about having to run clearances all week? And not getting all of them? Specifically the NBI clearance? Well, as I've written, I was not able to get the said clearance because I received a HIT, meaning there's someone else out there in the Philippines with the same name as mine, and he's involved in some nefarious crime. I remember commenting how unlikely it was for someone to have the name Kerwin Ray Sentillas. I was right. That Kerwin Ray Sentillas was no one else but me. SHOCKER.

How did I know about this? Well, my father sent someone to get the clearance for me in the NBI station near Victoria Plaza. He was then told by the NBI personnel there that I must have a clearance from DOST. Darnit, I knew it! I've always thought that there was something awfully amiss at the fact that I graduated from Ateneo without having any real exit interviews or anything from DOST. You see, I've been a DOST scholar for four years in the Ateneo, and have received allowances and some subsidies from them. At the very least, I would have expected some meeting with a DOST representative at the end of the semester to make sure that I'm done with everything and that I'm going to uphold all the terms in their contract. None came, so I didn't think about it. Until now.

I wonder what my violation was. One of the things in the contract, if I recall correctly, is that I am to serve the government for the number of years DOST had kept me under its "wings." In my case, 4 years. I must not work abroad during this time. My purpose for getting a NBI clearance clearly stated "local employment." So what could my violation be? It could only be some kind of finality, a clearance that I have done as the contract said. Or could it be that I violated their "serve the government" clause? PhilamLife is clearly a private company, not one owned by the government. But I distinctly remember clarifying this particular clause with their DOST representative during one of the Ateneo scholars' meeting with DOST. She said that private companies are OK, as long as I don't get to work abroad. I remember that clearly. So I guess I just need a clearance from DOST.

That might be a relief, but it's really not. If I am to claim some kind of clearance from them, I would have to do so in Taguig, which is kilometers away from where I am now. I might as well go to Cavite or Laguna for the distance and time it would take for me to get there. Sigh. I just wish I knew something more about this predicament I'm in. June 1st is approaching rapidly, and I need to present my clearances to the company before I get to have any compensation (meaning: salary).

I'm calling the Office of Admission and Aid later to see what exactly I missed or forgot doing. Papa's calling later to confirm whether or not the person he sent got my clearance. I'll just hope for the best meantime.

From movies to VideoCity.

Look at the silver screen section on the right side of this blog. The last movie you see there is Robots. It's sad. I can name a lot of fantastic movies that are showing right now, and a lot more which have already exited theaters. And none of these, I think, I'm going to watch anymore... at least until they reach VideoCity. Granted, Robots is not the last film I've seen in a theater. Between that time and now, I've seen Miss Congeniality 2 and Can The Love Begin. But that's it. I haven't even seen Closer! Or The Interpreter! Or Guess Who! Or Sahara! Given my old college self, I would have seen these in a matter of two weeks.

Well, the reason came home to me one particularly inactive day. There was an agenda embedded with each movie-going. Watching a movie was not done for watching's sake. It was more of a background activity. Now that that agenda has become quite trivial and pointless, the reason behind movie-going vanished, and all that remained was the conscious thought that watching a movie's quite expensive, and there's always VideoCity.

I am now a VideoCity boy. If I can't get my weekly fix of movies in theaters, I'm going to get it in my PC (well, Jel's PC, but that doesn't really matter... right Jel? Hee.). I have to have it! It's not as fantastic as watching movies in theater, but I can't complain. I'm enjoying it all the same. Imagine, for the past two weeks since Jel and I got our VideoCity cards, we have watched a total of 8-12 films. Amazing, right? The movies we watched were those we haven't caught in theaters, or those we thought were total crap, or foreign films, or cheesy Filipino romantic flicks. As I've said, we weren't altogether that disappointed.

Hmmm... I'm thinking of changing the contents of the silver screen section. This change from theater to computer is a huge step for me. Hee.

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Congratulations to my little bro Kenneth for passing the Ateneo High School entrance exam! Miss you, Ken! Palaro ng Disciples II map mo! Wee!!!