Graduation.

I just had my graduation today. Still tired, but just want to extend my heartfelt CONGRATULATIONS to BS Math 2005 in particular, and to the Ateneo graduates in general! We did it! Yahoo! :)

Good news. Bad news.

Bad news: I lost the 7,000-peso Florsheim shoes Papa gave me when I went to Manila for college. Not only that, but I lost the 3,000-peso eyeglasses he bought me last year, the 2,000-peso monitor he bought for my computer the year before that, and the 500-peso CD-ROM that came along with it. The prices are indicated for the sole purpose of showing how much of a college fuck-up I've been.

Good news: When I showed Papa the list of all the evils I've done, he didn't erupt like Pinatubo. Mama didn't, either. He wasn't all that pleased, sure, but I'll take what I have. That was close, though. I LOVE MY PARENTS! :) (We even ate at Pier One later last night. Wonderfulness.)

Good news: Mama and Papa are here! Wee! (Obvious ba?)

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Bad news: Jeland is sick. Get well, Jel. I'm sending all my good vibes to you now. Thank you for the nice entry. :)

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Good news: Everyone in our block is graduating! Yehey! I am so proud of my block. I've heard news that this year has the most number of Math Majors graduating. And we're complete, at that! Congratulations, blockmates!

Good news: We skipped the expensive Blue Roast and decided to create our own mini-Blue Roast. Everyone brought a little bit of food. When everyone was complete and accounted for, there were these items amidst the lit candles: 4 boxes of Cielo's donuts, a bilao of pansit palabok, bato-bato (chicken rolled in flour and deep-fried to oily perfection), a cake, pork barbeque, and dozens of little hotdogs on sticks. Joey and I decided to give a card as our contribution. Not any blank, congratulatory graduation card, mind you, but a card signed by the different teachers we've had throughout our 4 years in college. It was quite a feat, but it was fulfilling and rewarding all the same.

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Good news: I just had my BPI interview awhile ago. It was better than expected. Not only does BPI have tie-ins with AyalaLife Insurance, it has an Officer Training Program (OTP), as well! Mary V., the girl who interviewed me, told me that the OTP will last for 6 to 7 months, after which the trainee is bound to the company for 3 years. After two years in Operations, though, the officer (!) will have the option to choose his appointments. Of course, I'll settle for the Actuarial Department of AyalaLife.

Good news: I also had my PhilamLife panel interview a few days ago. I don't know what to feel, really, but my friends have been telling me that they cannot NOT accept me. I want to believe them, but it's best not to expect. I'll be hearing from them in two weeks. There are three possibilities awaiting me during that time: 1) I did not pass and would have to find work elsewhere; 2) I passed and will be trained under the Management Trainee Program; 3) I passed and will be trained under PhilamLife's actuarial department. I'm all for number 3, but number 2 is more likely. Number 1... I try not to think about it.

Bad news: During the PhilamLife interview, I was asked by one of the senior officers this question: 12 x 14? In my haste and in my nervousness, I replied with (apparent) conviction: "It's 178, sir." Of course, he corrected me, saying: "That's wrong." I realized my mistake and revised my answer to 168. I had no technique in doing multiplication, something which he found out in the course of that part of the interview, and I fear that that might cause my downfall. Hee. Funny, but bad news all the same.

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Bad news: I'm leaving Ateneo.

Good news: I'm graduating.

Good news: I may have work in two weeks.

Good news: Ummm... everything else!

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Wonderfulness. Wondefulness. Wonderfulness.

Thanksgiving.

Being grateful is an attitude that will always be in vogue. People always appreciate a healthy dose of "Thank you" or "This means much to me" every now and then. The Class 2005 Scholars and Benefactors Get-Together last night was one occasion wherein the virtue of gratitude could be, and was, expressed. Although I do not have any personal benefactor vouching for my scholarship here in the Ateneo, I still feel thankful that the Ateneo College Scholarship, and the Ateneo Freshman Merit Scholar Award, was awarded to me. Without it, I would not have been here, enjoying the wonderfulness of an Ateneo education.

A lot to be thankful for, really. Fr. Jet Villarin, the presider of the mass last night, enumerated three things: freedom, education, and life. And I wholly agree. I am thankful for being able to exercise my independence, something which studying in Manila away from my family provided me. The Ateneo education is a gift I also appreciate. I am proud of my Ateneo education. And I am happy to go into the world as an Atenean. Finally, I am grateful for the opportunity to share my life with the people I love. Without them, life would just have been a series of both fortunate and unfortunate events. With them, it ceases to become just a series, but a melody, a harmony of lives intertwined by both these fortunate and unfortunate events. A lot of things to be grateful for, really.

The occasion last night was one of thanksgiving, but it wasn't all that. It also gave recognition to those scholars who distinguished themselves by graduating with distinction. Clifford Lim, Robert Lizares, and Reinabelle Reyes are apparently the only three to graduate summa cum laude in our batch. And Patrick Echevarria is our Class 2005 Valedictorian. Wow! Congratulations, you guys! It was also the first time for me to hear that I'm graduating with honorable mention. It's official, then. Wonderfulness!

It was fun. There was laughter all around, and people were generally in a good mood. Not only that. I guess the hefty amount and the deliciousness of the food served during dinner helped a lot in building up the mood. I went back for a second serving myself. Such a blast! :)

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From whom much is given, much is expected.

Prayer for Generosity

Lord Jesus, teach me to be generous;
teach me to serve you as you deserve,
to give and not to count the cost,
to fight and not to heed the wounds,
to toil and not to seek for rest,
to labor and not to seek reward,
except that of knowing that I do your will.

Amen.

Future matters.

It may seem too ambitious, but I want to clinch a job before leaving Manila on March 21. I want to make sure that I have concrete work to look forward to when I'm having my "last long vacation before retirement" in Davao. It agitates me to think that I may have to leave some kind of an unfinished business here. I want the job hunting to be done and over with. I want some peace of mind.

That said, I think this is quite unlikely. I cannot possibly fit the entire process of recruitment for all the companies I've applied to in a span of two weeks. For instance, UnionBank, which will be interviewing me this Friday, requires their applicants to undergo three interviews. If ever I pass the preliminary personality interview this Friday, I will then have to fit the next two interviews next week. That is clearly not possible because I have other exams to take (such as the PhilamLife exam tomorrow), other interviews to go to (such as the BPI interview on the 16th), and other things to prepare for (such as the graduation fitting, practice, and what-not). Clearly, I will have to sacrifice March 21 as my departure date in exchange for a bigger chance in landing a job before that "last long vacation." I don't think Papa will agree to that, though, so that's that.

I am the type of person who wants to have my plans for the future all written down and mapped out. (Peeking in my planner will reveal this.) Now, not having a job before going home is screwing up all my plans. It leaves too much of an ambiguity everywhere. For instance, although I already have a place to stay in Manila for the next three to four years or so, not having a job provides too much of a possibility of not being productive in that place for the first two months or so. And I don't want that. I want to be productive as soon as I come back from Davao. I just want to work, already, goddarnit!

All these insurance companies are not making it easier on me, either. Papa's right: "Ang hirap makahanap ng trabaho." I've called and re-called, searched through every nook and cranny of almost every relevant insurance website in the Philippines, and none of them-- not one-- has an opening for actuary or actuarial assistant. Man, I thought this job was in demand! I guess I'll have to try harder, though. It even has already occurred to me that I may have to forgo my actuarial ambitions and apply for one of the Management Training Programs these insurance companies have. It might provide me with the ticket needed to easily access the actuarial departments of the companies if ever the opportunity, i.e. vacancy, arises.

Oh God grant me a job!

Million Dollar Baby. Million Dollar Movie.

[Long post ahead.]

Whenever I write ahead of my 5-movie review session, it can only mean two things: 1) the movie sucks big time (Let The Love Begin) or 2) the movie deserves more merit than what the 5-movie review session can give. Million Dollar Baby deserves much, MUCH more merit than what the five to six lines of my usual review can give. Right off the bat, I'm going to say this: Million Dollar Baby is a winner.

I had no intention of watching this film. On the surface, it had all the elements and characteristics of film which do not interest me: heavy drama, Clint Eastwood, and boxing. First, we begin with heavy drama. I've seen good heavy drama films, but these are rare. I'm quite a sentimental person, but there are only few films which I find extremely touching and profound. I then make it a rule not to watch such films unless there's no other viable movie option, or unless I've heard glowing reviews of it, not from critics, but from friends. Second, Clint Eastwood. I've heard of Clint Eastwood's magical directing hand in Mystic River and Unforgiven, but I haven't watched those films, given that the former is heavy drama, and the latter is an action film. Moreover, all movies which star Eastwood provide, at most, only mild entertainment. He's always been more of an action guy, and I've never really been an action type. Third, boxing. Rocky? No interest. Ali? No interest there, either. Karate Kid? OK, but that's not really boxing.

Why did I watch this film? Three reasons. 1) It's an OSCAR winner. 2) There was no other viable option. 3) Jel received glowing reviews of it from friends. Because of these three reasons, I was able to shelf out 70 bucks for the movie. I went inside the theater, not really expecting much, just hoping that it wouldn't be a total waste of my time.

The film was SPECTACULAR. It didn't have the glitz, glamour, and glare of The Aviator, but its subtle solemnity had its own unique sense of SPECTACULAR all the same, even more so. Subtle, because it never tried to tweak with our emotions the way Here on Earth or One Tree Hill episodes did. It presented the whole shebang from start to end without excuses, without pretenses. It was SPECTACULAR in its simplicity and boldness. It was SPECTACULAR in its honesty and courage.

The superb performances of the cast didn't hurt, either. Everyone deserved the praises and awards they got for this film. Morgan Freeman as the boxing has-been provided a quiet performance that settled in me comfortably. I felt calm everytime Morgan Freeman spoke. It kinda reminded me of the way he delivered in Shawshank Redemption. What I liked even more, though, was when Freeman and Eastwood were bantering on the screen. They had a friendly chemistry that really entertained me. Freeman was witty; so was Eastwood.

Speaking of Eastwood, I would never think the same way about him again. Beneath the hard, angular face, and beneath the weary lines that run through it, lay a highly emotional man. I've never seen pain so plainly and effectively expressed in an action star's face. Yeah, scratch that. I'll never think of him as just an action star ever again.

Finally, Hilary Swank. Two-time Oscar Best Actress winner, joining the ranks of an elite few. What can I say? This girl is no teenybopper flash-in-the-pan. I'm hands down amazed with Swank. First, a lesbian, now, a boxer. Needless to say, the roles she plays are not easy to get into. But she manages to do it. As Jel said, there's just something in her face that gets to you. I agree. She may not be the prettiest Hollywood chick around, but she's one of the best actresses around. And that's not something you can get from Botox.

An admission: I cried. From the last ten minutes of the film until Jel and I went out of the movie theater, I cried. And I kept on crying. It was embarrassing, really, but what the heck. I was-- I don't really know if this is the right way to describe it, but it's close-- shaken. The last time I cried that hard was when I watched What Dreams May Come, and that movie was shown in theaters, like, 5 years ago. I don't know if I've just become callous over time, but it's a testament to Million Dollar Baby's emotional prowess that I cried. Big time.

Go watch it. I won't force you, but please do. An article I've read reminded moviegoers to bring tissues, and I just scoffed at him, thinking, "What a sentimental sap." But it's true. Bring tissues. You're gonna need it.

Grade? A/A+. Critics? A-. Close.

Tired feet and wet shirt.

SonyLife is not for me. Sigh. And I got my legs and feet all sore just to discover this maddening fact. So that's one insurance company down, and one left standing. PhilamLife, you better have an actuarial position open, or else... or else... or else I'll be jobless and I'll cry! As Papa told me awhile ago, "Ang hirap makahanap ng trabaho 'no?" Gee, thanks Pa. That really helped. Hee.

The problem: I asked the SonyLife HR representatives who went to our job fair if there were any actuarial positions open. She replied: "All departments have openings." Which I assumed, in my naive little mind, to mean "Yes." As it turns out, the company only has two departments: one that's involved with sales, and one that's involved with managing sales. The first department allows you to pursue a LifePlanner track, AKA Insurance Agent. The second department allows you to pursue an Agency Director track, AKA Insurance Agent Manager. I cannot apply for the second; I can only apply for the first.

It is unfortunate, though, that I have no plans of taking the actuarial exams to become an Insurance Agent. As I replied in the personal information form handed out earlier: "Are you interested in becoming a LifePlanner? Perhaps. Unfortunately, I do not think that being a LifePlanner is right for me. I am currently pursuing an actuarial track, and I believe that being a LifePlanner is quite different from being an actuary. Despite this, however, I believe in the nobility and discipline which characterize the LifePlanner profession, and hence I consider it as a highly redeemable career to those who wish to pursue it." It is a diplomatic response for a depressing question. I came there expecting a lot, and went out empty-handed. Well, not really empty-handed. I was given a Personal Information Sheet to fill out and a Project 100 Sheet to write the names of 100 "recommendable" people on. Sigh.

Not really empty-handed. Sore legs for walking too much in Makati, and a wet long-sleeved shirt for walking rapidly under the drizzling rain. That's what I got.

Sigh.

I did nothing today. Fantastic.

In a few weeks' time, the proper response to such a comment will be: "As usual." "I did nothing today." "As usual." Hee. Fantastic.

I just received some not-so-fantastic news today, though. I got a D on my final exam in Financial Economics. A "D". If I recall correctly, the exam has a 30-percent bearing on my final grade, which, upon some calculation, will result to-- hmmm-- a B. Not bad? Bad. I feel kinda sad about the whole thing, knowing that I botched up my chance to get an A for the subject, and in the process botched up my chance for getting a 4.0 for this semester. Yes, it's quite a pipe dream, but pipe dreams never hurt anybody, right? They never hurt anybody, at least until the moment when those pipe dreams vanish into thin air.

Bah. Enough of that sad stuff. I'll get over it. But seriously, a D?!? What was I doing?!? Did I take the test blindfolded? Hee.

I have something to look forward to for tomorrow, and that's fantastic, given these taskless times. I will be taking SonyLife's pre-employment exam. SonyLife is one of the two insurance companies I applied in as an actuarial assistant. The other insurance company is PhilamLife, and I'll be taking their exam soon enough. But tomorrow, SonyLife. I've always liked the HR girl who inquired about my schedule (her name is Valerie); I think she's sweet and nice. It's a good omen for someone who's terribly terrified of interviews and other forms of formal social contact. If the HR's nice, then perhaps the interview will go well. I hope.

Tomorrow's exam will last 2 hours, so says Valerie. The first hour will be (I assume) the typical IQ exam. The next hour will be the CIP. I forget what CIP means, but it's a program to introduce the candidates to the world of insurance, specifically within the context of SonyLife. I'm actually looking forward to this second part, mainly because I have, as yet, no idea of how to become an actuary in the Philippines. Perhaps the program will shed light on my query.

This reminds me. I have to research about SonyLife in case any form of interviews arise. It's good to be prepared. Jeland told me to treat it as some kind of oral exam, which is why my heart's beating at an impossibly rapid rate and my tummy's doing nosedives. Oral exam, indeed.

(Seriously. A D?!?)

Amazing Race begins tomorrow.

Yes! My favorite reality TV show is back tomorrow, 10 AM - 12 PM on Studio 23. I really thought I would not be able to watch the premiere because of a retreat I'm supposed to have, but because of some ignorance and stupidity, I was not able to go. So I guess my date with God is on hold, and my date with the new Amazing contestants is good to go!

My predictions on the first episode of the Amazing Race (as seen in my post on Television Without Pity):

First in Episode: Rob and Amber
Last in Episode: Ryan and Chuck
TAR7 Winners: Susan and Patrick

I have only one wish for this season: for it not to suck like last season! Last season sucked so hard with all the bunching, the casting of Jonathan and Victoria, and the uber-lame tasks. With that kind of suckitude, this might just be the best season yet!

Happy birthday, older bro!

It's my Kuya's birthday today. It's his 25th, I think. Tanda na 'no?. I wish I could post a picture of him here, but I don't have any scanned pic. The only picture I have of him is in the family picture I carry around in my wallet. I need a digicam, Papa! Give me one!

I sincerely hope for my Kuya's happiness in life. He's been one hell of a great brother to me, and he deserves a breather. There were a lot of quarrels, of course, especially during the times I was still living in Davao, but none of those ever chipped the love I have for my Kuya. Ever since I could recall, he has always been there to take care of me. I remember seeing a photograph where he was behind my baby-walker (I don't know how else to describe that wooden thing), smiling wide at the camera while making sure that I didn't hurt myself in that awkward contraption. However, he also claims nowadays that it was his doing why I became "brilliant" (eherm). While I was still a baby, he says, he lifted me by the legs and bumped my head on the concrete floor. That shook a lot of the brain cells I've had, he explains, and that is why I'm who I am now. Well, thanks are in order, I guess.

My brother has always been the silent type. So am I, but his is a brooding silence. You tend to be wary by his quietude; you tend to be carefree with mine. Despite certain differences such as this one, though, we go along just fine. I love the things we do together. Before, in Zamboanga, we had our collections. He had his stamps, and X-Men cards, and rubber bands (yes, rubber bands); together, we had our Inquirer Trivia by Bong Barrameda. As we grew up, we became competitive with one another, at least academically. We grew up in an academic environment, where books were preferred over toys, and this became apparent in our competitions. We fought against each other in terms of points garnered while watching Battle of the Brains in RPN-9. After that wonderful show got cut off (and got replaced by the ugh LG Quiz Show), we fought against each other in quiz books Papa bought for us. My strength lay in Mathematics-- no surpise there. His strength lay in almost everywhere else-- History, Literature, Sports, and Philosophy most of all. Did he beat me? You bet he did. But I kicked his ass in more occasions than one, too.

When Kenneth came along, the fun doubled. Needless to say, the troubles doubled, as well. But Kuya managed to handle both of us with the gentle discipline only an eldest child can muster. If you ask both Kenneth and me what we think of our Kuya, we'll probably say the same thing: we love that brooding boy.

Kuya, thanks for everything, and I'm glad that you're here for all of us. Even if you did analyze me for your Psychology project without me knowing about the whole thing, we still love you. Happy birthday. :)